ZooeySis

It seems that the older I get, the farther I get from the things I want, its like no matter how hard I try, and try, and try, (every year being more persistent than the last), my hard work earns me nothing but disappointment... So why keep trying??

I think i'm just going to give up on ABDL... Although its a part of me that I know I probably will never be able to let go of, i'll have to manage those urges some way because its come to the point where ABDL doesnt even feel fun anymore... not because Im older, but because im so tired of being alone, so tired coming so close to dreams come true then having the door slammed shut in my face...

I use to have friends that indulged my abdl dreams in the most minimalistic of ways, the moment it started escalating into something really fantastic, SOMETHING ALWAYS WENT WRONG... Whether it was my wife losing her mind, or my friend moving away to the navy for 8 years, or my other friends boyfriend trying to make a move on my wife and me not being able to be friends with her... or my wifes best friend who I was supposed to have a photoshoot with this saturday decides to cancel because my wife are no longer friends (due to the fact that she never cares to even put an effort in communicating with my wife, so I will say that my wife has every reason not to wanna be friends with this girl anymore) but why is it that im always stuck in the middle, i always end up losing something... and i never ask for shit... Im just going to quit, because apparently i wasnt meant to have my dreams come true...

Im doing this in a blog because I am tired as shit of hearing people tell me "you cant want it, you cant look for it, it will come to you" that is the most utter BULLSHIT ive ever heard in my life, if you want something you go get it, you dont wait, but apparently even if I have it in my hands, its meant to deteriorate before my eyes.... Im so tired of trying to be positive, and having a happy outlook, for the past 10 fucking years, Im done.