Unhappy in my nappy...
by, 14-May-2012 at 23:33 (305 Views)
Well, there comes a time, usually when highly stressed when my AB side gets out of control and I find I dedicate too much time to it. Sadly, that time is now.
I am endlessly thinking AB fantasies; Daddy giving me a bath, Daddy and me snuggling on the sofa, Daddy putting me to bed. But this reality is both attainable and unattainable at the same time. Let me explain.
I have a daddy, he is amazing and in a month we shall be living together. Pure bliss. But there is also a growing part of me that is terrified that if I don't reign in my urges, I'll push him away. Lately, every time we've spent a weekend together, I have been wearing. Not 24/7 thankfully, but almost every night of the visit and I know it must annoy him greatly.
But I simply cannot help it. At the moment my levels of stress are through the roof (third year of Uni, final hand-in's, financial and home troubles) and because of that my need for babying is increasing. Whilst I wear when I'm with him, it's not really baby-time - no bottles, no clothes, no rocking or things and so my urge for babyhood is growing. It's not his fault, he is just as stressed and it's not right that I force him to baby me if he doesn't want to. But I'm so desperate right now. I'm only writing this now because he has pretty much left the site so I feel it's safe to come out with these things.
He's so amazing but I'm so worried that I will go too far and my need for AB will kill our relationship.
I haven't worn since I left him, which probably isn't smart as I need to scratch this itch, but it just seems pointless if there's no-one there with me.
I may try wearing tonight - a goodnite, so nothing heavy, and see if that numbs the urge for a while. Stupidly I left my dummy at his so I can't even suck on that to calm me down, such a silly baby!