Ph.D. process
Posted 02-09-2009 at 05:03 AM by h3g3l
Let's begin with the obvious thing that no one tells you about until you're mid-way through a Ph.D. program: it's ritualized humiliation.
A Ph.D. is:
A Ph.D. is not:
I bring these up because they were misconceptions I had about the Ph.D. program in this country. About the best thing I ever heard was from a new faculty member in 2006. He said,
There is a ton of administrative bullshit surrounding the degree. For instance, I've been done with coursework since 2006. However, I need to go A.B.D. (when you go from "student" to "candidate") before I can defend. To this end, I'm taking research credits. Research credits give the university a few last digs at your wallet before you go away. As I'm writing up the experimental design and basically proving that what I'm doing is valid, I'm paying money to the university. Not for instruction. Not for "housing" or "upkeep." But because I have to be "active" the semester I go up for A.B.D. status.
As I'm going to require human subjects for my experiment, I'll have a couple more hurdles to jump through.
This means that even if my committee finds the experiment to be just fine, it may be turned down by the IRB (institutional Review Board) folks if they deem it hazardous. Or if they have a bad day. Or if they feel like being a pain. Or if they don't like my major professor.
The process has nothing to do with intellect; what I'm finding, in the end, is that it's all about being willing to fuck over your neighbor. And THIS is precisely why I have an ex-major professor--the dude was poaching my ideas, and I didn't take kindly to it.
My goal in life--one of them--is to be able to look myself in the mirror each morning and know that I've not fucked anyone to get where I am. The Ph.D. is appearing not quite at odds with that goal, but it's made more difficult by it.
A Ph.D. is:
- Rigorous;
- Administrative;
- Political;
- Best suited to those who excel at doing busy-work often.
A Ph.D. is not:
- A journey of knowledge with intelectual peers;
- Best suited for the brilliant or creative;
- An invitation to demonstrate intelligence and/or creativity.
I bring these up because they were misconceptions I had about the Ph.D. program in this country. About the best thing I ever heard was from a new faculty member in 2006. He said,
Quote:
Every Ph.D. recipient is bitter. You'll be bitter. All that varies is the reason for being bitter.
As I'm going to require human subjects for my experiment, I'll have a couple more hurdles to jump through.
This means that even if my committee finds the experiment to be just fine, it may be turned down by the IRB (institutional Review Board) folks if they deem it hazardous. Or if they have a bad day. Or if they feel like being a pain. Or if they don't like my major professor.
The process has nothing to do with intellect; what I'm finding, in the end, is that it's all about being willing to fuck over your neighbor. And THIS is precisely why I have an ex-major professor--the dude was poaching my ideas, and I didn't take kindly to it.
My goal in life--one of them--is to be able to look myself in the mirror each morning and know that I've not fucked anyone to get where I am. The Ph.D. is appearing not quite at odds with that goal, but it's made more difficult by it.
Total Comments 4
Comments
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I suppose, h3g3l, that pursuing a Ph.D. is more or less a matter of self-satisfaction than anything else. It's expensive-as-fuck, hard-ass work, and sometimes even exists on the whole "publish or perish" ideal, not to mention all of the more valid details you've put above you. I do believe there has to be a modicum of self-awareness, i.e., "I WANT to be a Ph.D." "But why?" "Because I fuckin' want to!"
I think there are all specific goals we reach towards in wanting to achieve a terminal degree. Personally, I know that the only future I have ahead of me is to teach -- I'll likely spend my thirties and even my forties struggling to teach, write, and publish all at the same time. Most prominently, I'd like to be able to one day become the head of an English department, where I could hopefully appeal the best choices for curriculum. Hell, anyone want to help me found a specific English college? -_^
Truth be told, though -- based on what you said -- you have to want that Ph.D. and have to want to do something to earn it, then likely to flaunt it! -_^
And you, sir, will get through it!
That being said, we all have specific goals we want to achieve with a Ph.D. It's expensive, so there's no reason not to look away. ButPosted 02-09-2009 at 06:29 PM by Dawes
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I look upon the degree as a path to legitimacy, and a kind of "union card" that lets me work in academic institutions.
That is all.
Indeed, I suspect (and intend) that the only time I'll correct people with "Dr. XXXX" will be in telephone/print/video interviews, with undergraduate students, and with new graduate students.
Grad students that I've worked with and my peers are welcome to call me by my first name. I'm not that up in myself that I want my co-workers calling me Dr. X; that's just silly. But a 17- or 18-year old kid? Damn right I'm Dr. X there!
Posted 02-09-2009 at 10:43 PM by h3g3l
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My siblings managed to get paid to enroll in Ph.D. programs. I just assumed that everyone gets paid to go to grad school.Quote:Originally Posted by Dawes
I suppose, h3g3l, that pursuing a Ph.D. is more or less a matter of self-satisfaction than anything else. It's expensive-as-fuck, hard-ass work, and sometimes even exists on the whole "publish or perish" ideal, not to mention all of the more valid details you've put above you.Posted 03-09-2009 at 04:12 AM by HypnoToad 
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We don't do any classes for doctoral degrees - not yet anyway (my uni wants to introduce them, but I don't see that become mandatory any time soon, for lack of anything useful to teach at the low volume of PhD students we have). The only requirement is to write your thesis and to get it published. The former has to demonstrate that you're capable of independent academic work, producing new insights. The latter is usually a question of having the money to pay a publisher to publish it for ya.
There's not much in terms of administrative work, surprisingly, because the committee that evaluates your thesis are the people to decide about your degree, and that's a rather subjective process. So being at good terms with everyone in your department is really important, not in terms of being best buddies and going out drinking, but in terms of respecting their work and being helpful and productive yourself by helping out in the department, and most importantly previous useful research and publications. At least I never had any fears whatsoever of not getting my degree because of my previous work. In the end, the actual thesis and oral presentation felt more like a formal process than a big deal.
PeachyPosted 07-09-2009 at 03:56 PM by Peachy
