Conversations, miscommunications, and everyday verbal masturbations. Be wary: Nothing important exists beyond this point, although what lies within these extemporaneous scripts, however true, can also obtain offensive material. These conversations are as accurate as I remember.
My day-job is that of an intake coordinator for a defense attorney's office, part of which requires that I interview convicts, both incarcerated and freed, to gather their statements of the cases in question. Names save for mine will be changed.
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Posted 09-02-2008 at 05:44 AM by Dawes (Day in the life of...)
Another intake at the office. My fellow intake workers are out with the flu, which leaves me to deal with the masses on my lonesome. I've heard a lot of peculiar things... but what follows has got to be the single most awesome thing I've ever heard. A man hobbles in with an uneven gait and sits down. I peruse his file. Second-degree assault. I go through the first few pages of the application, and then I go for the statement..
Rance: "Mr. Jones*, now that we've gotten...
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Nummer Wun Hound Dog
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Views 258
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Posted 08-02-2008 at 04:29 AM by Dawes (Day in the life of...)
Another day, another series of criminal intakes. This one involves a woman (who I realize is quite a few bricks short of a load (no pun intended)) telling me why the Disorderly Conduct charge placed upon her is false.
I read over the charging documents, which contain a statement from the plantiff. 'Miss Doe* frequently stands on our porch past midnight, shouting obscenities, screaming about her missing dog, cussing out nothing in particular.'
So I interview her...
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Nummer Wun Hound Dog
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Views 319
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Posted 05-02-2008 at 09:00 PM by Dawes (Day in the life of...)
It was the weekend, and I stood outside of our local Ruby Tuesday, smoking a cigarette well away from the door. In Maryland, the indoor smoking ban eliminated all smoking sections from any indoor bar, restaurant, or diner, requiring that those who smoke go outside. I had no problem adhering. I lit my cigarette, and the door opened. A middle-aged blonde-haired woman with seven -- count them, seven -- young daughters of ascending ages trotting like little ducklings behind her. She passes by me,...
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Nummer Wun Hound Dog
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Views 280
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Posted 05-02-2008 at 04:41 PM by Dawes (Day in the life of...)
Updated 05-02-2008 at 08:31 PM by Dawes
We're doing office intakes. People alleged to have committed crimes -- but were not incarcerated -- have up until 10 days prior to their trial to request the representation of a public defender. My office mate and I are the first line of defense. I'm halfway through an interview when a client decides to become a clown.
Rance: Alright, sir, now that I've got all of your identifying information, I just need to write down your statement -- your words -- relaying what happened on...
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Nummer Wun Hound Dog
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Views 186
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Posted 04-02-2008 at 05:31 AM by Dawes (Day in the life of...)
At Rance's household, a Superbowl party can never be too innocent. My team is the Redskins; my friend's team is the Ravens. The contest never dies, even when both teams are done and gone, with only thoughts of next year to carry them forward...
Rance: Alright, Kev, so give me your prediction for today: Patriots or New York Giants?
Kevin: Well... ( scratching at an invisible spot on his Raven's jersey.)
Rance: Come on, dude, spit it out. I don't...
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Nummer Wun Hound Dog
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Views 154
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