Classic Farley: "Motivational Santa" Chris Farley | Parody & Spoofs | Funny Videos, Pictures and Jokes at JibJab

Customizer

Pay tribute to the Native American-killing English who settled here and forcefully expanded west. The pilgrims survived and encouraged other Europeans to come here, kill and steal land. And what do we symbolize this history with in contemporary parts? We ram ourselves full of turkey and mashed potatoes and gravy.

In other news, whenever I want to wear, I just wear and then roll it and put it under my bed. They're plainly viewable from the stairs, but no one has noticed. They...

Customizer

It's Sunday. No buses, so I have to drive. So I get up today, get dressed and go downtown and try to find my classmate to get a camera. I called him before I left home, while I was downtown at a church and also when I left.

I suspect he is sick because he sounded awful in class, like bronchitis.

So I drive home and a woman in a Mini warns me that the back left tire is dangerously low. I pull over and spend 20 minutes changing it in an empty parking lot. I limp...

Customizer

I'm tired. Mentally, I'm in a fog. This weekend will be a delightful time to write papers.

Did you not get the sarcasm?

I'm getting quite "full" down there in terms of prostate fluid.

Andy Setra: Don't take this personally, but I think your sex drive is overwhelming because you appear to me to be a lonely cat boy. If you were in my shoes, would you bust a nut and end your non-pleasured week of emptiness?

In other words,...

Customizer

Today was a busy day at the University. Many in-class assignments and quizzes kept me busy.

Three more days shouldn't be a problem.

The "garments" feel more special than ever, especially with last night's double-layered setup.

I feel well and am not horny enough to leak clear fluid yet.

The cold weather has kept me dormant and my thoughts have quieted down from yesterday.

If you youngins have a question, feel...

Customizer