ADISC - Blogs - Crassi

Muse releasing new album

Crassi — Mon, 24 Aug 2009 00:45:07 GMT

Well, the 16th of september (here in Swe) Muse will release their new album The Resistance

And here in this link, is the previews for all songs in the album, and it's all sheer epic. My personal favourites is certainly Undisclosed Desires, MK Ultra and the whole Exogenesis symphony.

Ze link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0BR7lBQsJDo

The Resistance track listing:

Uprising (First Single, release 9/9) <-- B-day!
Resistance
Undisclosed Desires
United States of Eurasia + Collateral Damage
Guiding Light
Unnatural Selection
MK Ultra
I belong to you + Mon Coeur S'Ouvre A Ta Voix
Exogenesis pt. 1: Overture
Exogenesis pt. 2: Cross-Pollination
Exogenesis pt. 3: Redemption

Take 5 minutes out of your lives, close your eyes and listen to the music, you won't be sorry.

Friends deceives, and life's hell.

Crassi — Thu, 20 Aug 2009 01:04:08 GMT

Long, sad post ahead. I'm sorry about that.

Hell, things aren't fun no more. Let me tell ya'll why.

First off, when I was 12 years old I went into serious depression, lasted for over two years til the time I was about 15 years old. Then things, for no real reason, started getting better. I was happy and so on. The my friends, the people I've known for over 10 years started pretty much betraying me.

Well, first off! We'll call my friends Mike (known him since I was in daycare, he's one year older than me), Paul (went in the same class for over 10 years, known since daycare) and Alan (Same class for 10 years).

These people I've always trusted. I've almost spent more time with them then with my family, but then they started fucking things up.

Let me tell you. There's 2 girls in my old class, Let's call them Emily and Sara. I've never liked them. In fact, I have some serious reasons for hating them (they had a big part in my depression, for example), and my friends knew that. But still, my pals invited these two girls to Mikes house one weekend. We have a no-drug (that means alcohol too) policy, so they, not me, thought it was okay.

But this girl, Emily, is a real player. She dates guys, stays with them for a few months, then leaves them. So I really didn't want to have her with us. But guess what, the day before we all met, she was seeing another guy that we don't know, she fell in love with him, and he rejected her.

So we all went in and comforted her, even I was nice to her. But then she, as I was expecting, started fucking up everything. First she, for no reason at all, started making out with Paul. And later the same evening she made out with Mike. The next day they were suddenly a couple, and Mike's my best friend, so I made her promise that she wouldn't leave him, but she did, 3 days after she promised, for no particular reason. I hated her even more.

But then later on, my friends started inviting some other girls to us all the time; Sara and her friend Mandy. Mandy's a real b*tch to me, but nice to everyone else. My friends know how I feel for these girls, but they were always after us, doing what we were doing.

And now, Sara's together with Paul, and Mandy's together with Alan. I'm okay with that, because they're my friends. But I said to them, I do not wish to be apart of their relationships. I requested that we shouldn't mix love and friendship here. They agreed.

But now, a few days ago, I invited all my friends (alas, not the girls) to my house, so we all could get along as friends as we used to do. You know, play some poker, some video games and buy some soda and watch a film and things like that. And they came. For an hour or so, we had a great time, hanging out as we used to do. But then they showed their real faces.

Suddenly, Sara and mandy came into my house (note: they didn't even knock before) without a warning. I told them that I had requested that they would not come today, because I just wanted my closest friends with me, for just one evening, is that too much to ask for? But according to them, Paul and Alan had invited them in, against what I had told them. Even though I felt angry and betrayed, I let them in, to be a good host and everything.

And just minutes after they went in, Sara and Paul said that they had to use my computer, so I showed them to my room (we were in the living room before) and they went in. A few minutes later, Mandy had to use the bathroom, so she went upstairs, and Alan went with her. Well, I probably knew what was happening, but I didn't want to believe it.

But after an hour, I couldn't take it. So I went upstairs to see what Mandy and Alan was doing in the bathroom, and they weren't there. Instead, they were in my brother's room, making out with barely any clothes left on. I wanted nothing more than to throw them out, but I wanted to be nice to my friend, so I told them if they had sex, I was gonna call the police, so keep your clothes on. They agreed and continued making out.

And guess what Sara and Paul were doing? That's right. They were in my bed, clearly having sex. There was a moment of frenzy, where I actually grabbed Sara by the throat and pulled her out of the bed. But then I did feel a tiny bit of remorse for Paul, so I said what i said before. Clothes on now, if they come of again, I'm calling the cops right away. They agreed, put on their clothes, and what do you know, kept making out.

I checked in on both couples a couple of times, and thankfully they kept their clothes on. But I would have seriously called the cops if they took them off, right away.

The rest of the evening, I was sitting in the living room with Mike, watching a comedy. I didn't laugh a single time. I really wanted to cry more than ever, but I just couldn't. Mike asked me what was wrong, and i think he knew, just from the way l appeared.

Half an hour later both couples came out from mine and my brothers rooms, and left, without saying a word. They didn't thank me for anything, that I'd let them in, bought drinks for everyone or rented a movie for us. They said nothing.

Mike was tired, and left just moments later, so I was alone. Sitting, watching a comefy film I'd rented for me and my friends, with loads of half full glasses everywhere, bottles laying on the floor. I was traumatized, I couldn't move. But of course, I did later on.

My room was a total mess, just as my brother's was. Pillows on the floor, books everywhere, toiletpaper everywhere... It was horrible. It was so hard on me cleaning up everything, but I had to do it before he came home, I can only imagine how he would react otherwise.

So here I am, I have ignored all my friends except Mike these days. At least he said thanks, and came by later to help clean up the living room. I thanked him for it, and actually forgave him for the whole Emily-thing.

But in the end, they're all a bunch of fuckers who only cares about themselves.

Short stuff

Crassi — Fri, 29 May 2009 13:56:04 GMT

Hey guys,

Just wanna give you a quick update on a few stuff. I'm doing fine, I'm taking a brake from the internets, So I'm not very active.

I talked with a girl in my class before, she's cute and all that, but not my type, I'm clear I can't have romantic feelings towards her.

But you see, yesterday we were talking about odd things (Like shaking hands, chewing finger nails). It appears that we both have a little issue with chewing finger nails, so we did kind of trail off and she said she wanted to get a pacifier, to see if it helped. I thought it was a fun thing so we decided to go out and buy some pacifiers sometime, just for fun's sake. I don't think she's into B* stuff, and frankly I hope she's not. We're good friends and it would make things wierd.

It's all good fun.

But hey, fun stuff happens.

And Satyrical, I'll post back as soon as possible, promise!

Hey you guys

Crassi — Fri, 27 Mar 2009 17:16:34 GMT

Here's the blog, as promised. It's mostly made from notes I've written when lying in bed, unable to fall asleep. The text is mostly true, but a few parts have been edited to a certain degree. I don't think my thoughts would make sense otherwise. Please beware of bad spelling, I'm really tired and I lack the energy to read everything through. So, big wall 'o text, coming up:

Thoughts of a sleepless night

What is freedom? Is it the choices that is presented to us, or the choices we mkae for ourselves? Well, as you know, when we grow up freedom isn�t always present in our lives, we mainly follow a linear route that others has decided for us. When you grow up like that you can�t really prepare yourself for real life. Is it we that make our choices, or does our choices make us?

Right now I�m presented with the biggest oppurtunity in life. For the first time I�m in command. But of course, this choice is not due until in a few years, so I still have time to make up my mind. But when the time arrives, will I be ready for it? I�m not sure I�ll ever be, I guess God only knows.

I have to choose a direction in life, where to go next. I could play a safe hand and go to lawschool, and from there study to become a lawyer. Or, if I feel like making a gamble, I could move out of Sweden and become a psychologist. Both choices is workrelated, I can see myself in both of them, but both requires sacrifises. Am I ready to put my whole life, my friends, behind me to pursue my dreams? But friend, believe me. We�ve only scraped the surface, there is more to this than meets the eye.

If I, for some reason, would like to not walk towards a walking future, there are even grander choices to make.

Should I follow my heart, and move in together with my girlfriend and work on our relationship? It is there my heart belongs, but I have trouble seeing a future there, it isn�t just the proper oppurtunitys there for me to get a job. This could seem as the only right way to go, but there�s even more.

The never ending pursue of freedom. Just jump on the motorbike and just drive towards the horizon, ow wherever the world puts me. It would be a great gamble, I�d be completely exposed to the world. But perhaps only then can I see what was meant to be for me. Or more importantly, it would be up to me alone to forge my life the way I see fit.

I feel so conflicted, there is no one to listen to. Everyone is biased, my family wants me to choose a good career, so I can support them and secure my future. My girlfriend on the other hand wants me close to her, and live together. But what do I want? Freedom? Happiness? In the end, is it really my decision to make? Or am I so controlled by others opinions that I am nothing more than a puppet?

I have so many alternatives, all of them holds a future for me, but none of them can please everyone. Whatever I do I�ll just let more people down. Would they forgive me? I don�t think they realize my position here. All of us bleeds the same, so how can I put one human being in front of another? For me, this isn�t really about my future any longer. It�s about the people who has made me the man I am today, the people I owe everything in life. So if they would somehow know how I feel, please stop asking me to decide, you�re everyting to me.

So many choices... Somehow, I can�t really understand this. What is freedom? Is anyone free? Or are they like me, unknowingly manipulated by those they hodl dear?

In the end, our choices makes us.

___________________________________

~ Crassi

FRA is watching us,

Crassi — Fri, 02 Jan 2009 00:28:36 GMT

Life's hit rock bottom. The world's going to hell, and that am I supposed to do? I can't believe how people accept the changes. Our belloved little capitalistic government, making the rich even richer. Pulling the common men down the ground. Sweden's fucked up. All these new surveillance laws are insane. The FRA had from January 1st '09 the rights to surveillance the people pretty much how they want to. Hacking into the cables, mounting cameras. And what pisses me of the most? No one does anything. They just relax and let the changes take over everything. Geez, even posting on here makes my feel paranoid. There's nothing to hold some FRA douche from reading every word I write.
And what am I going to do about it? My friends are corrupted with capitalistic propaganda, and trying to demonstrate is futile. No one listen these days. Just... sitting back and enjoying the ride, not knowing they're being manipulated.

This is changing everything. I feel like I can't trust anything no more. I don't know how our government is responding to insubordination, but I am sure as hell that they ain't going to let it progress. Betcha the FRA is already hiring their personal gestapo or something. Something's gotta be done fast, or we're going to have to pull some desperate measures.

And you, dear Adisc'ers? What makes you think that they won't surveillance you too? They're searching all information that passes through Sweden, and I'm pretty sure that Adiscs servers is located outside my country. The FRA treats us all like criminals, to them all of us are suspects, not people. I mean, FRA own's one of the worlds fastest supercomputer. Think that this little server is safe against it? No way.

I was going to post about my emotional breakdown, but I'll save that for another day. The FRA situation has to be dealt with, one way or another. I am, o course, not asking you guys to do anything in this struggle.

To be dead honest. I wish for a civil war, something to change this country. The capitalism must be removed from our government.

Don't take my blog too seriously, I just want you to understand this.

Love issues

Crassi — Fri, 14 Nov 2008 19:52:06 GMT

Christ's sake...

I feel really depressed now. I can't and probably never will get this straightened out. My social life has gone suicidal and is just too mych for me to handle right now. Let me get thing straight, first things first.

My family isn't very approving of my political standpoint nor the stands I pull in public. I'm so frustrated with them. Why can't they let me live my dream? I wish to make the place just a little bit better for at least someone. But I guess every revolutionist has to meet problems sooner or later, but the fact that it is my parents this time just makes me sad. Why is everyone so against communism, when they don't even know what's it about?

So, enough with the political talk. I'll talk about love now. You see, I've been in love with a girl for almost two years now. The thing is, I think she has feelings for me too. At class she always
looks at my direction, when we make eyecontact one of us always looks away. The problem is that both of us is very shy and probably too much to dare to make the first move. Very annoying indeed. In a swedish blog I posted about a year ago I explained this thorougly, and if some of you want's to read it, then I can give it to you. But it is in Swedish, just so you know.
But not only that situation. I've been her friend for more than 3 years now. And I've started to think that she has feelings for me, she is hitting on me constantly. I love her, but not in that way. I don't wan't to hurt her feelings, but I don't really know how. Every thing I do has it's consequences. And I don't know what to do.

Why can't life be simple? I mean, why should this be so hard? Life hardly seems fair when such a beautiful thing as love gets so painful as it is know.

Goddamit! I don't know how much of this I can take. It feels like everytime I get a yard ahead of my feelings something always comes back and stabs my back.
I can't stand losing the girl I love, but neither do I wan't to lose my best friend.

I guess, some people are just meant to be hurt, and have their hearts crushed.

Haircut and no demonstration.

Crassi — Fri, 31 Oct 2008 01:23:10 GMT

Important things first. Originally me and a friend were going to be demonstrating tomorrow about the wrongfull judgement people pull on each other, but alas, no dice.
We had rented a few square metres in the town square, but I got a phone call today and the man explained to me that we couldn't. Appearently some band is going to be playing there. Shit. But alas, no demonstration and no justice. We might do it some other time. But right now I feel real down about this. Just downright worthless. Guess it ain't that easy to change the world.

But more seriously, I've gotten a haircut and a picture is in my gallery (regulars only). Go ahead and check it out, and don't forget to leave a comment!

Halloween time, KKK

Crassi — Sat, 25 Oct 2008 18:13:39 GMT

Schools out for a week now, sure is gonna be a few boring days now. My friends is on holiday someplace warm. It's the 25th today, if I'm not mistaken. So I guess me and the buddies who's still in Sweden will go out on town on Halloween and raise some hell. Not like that of course, but we love to dress up in some some rather controvesial cloths and just go on town, to see peoples reaction. We never break any laws, no drinking or anything like that. This year we are planning on making some sorts of KKK robes. I assure you, we will not be breaking any laws or doing anything mean to anybody. We are just a few guys who wanna stick out of the crown.

Other than that, with this girl I love, I won't go in depth with our relationship, but I'll make my move after the break, and I will update here how it went.

Also... I'm gonna get a haircut this tuesday, and thus I will also dye my hair. I guarantee, you will get pics!

Until next time...

I'll be away for some time.

Crassi — Sun, 19 Oct 2008 18:59:51 GMT

Yeah, I'm sorry about this lads. But as you see, I've lately been drowning on work and not only that, I'm starting to feel that a depression is coming.

When I say work, I don't mean it as you probably think. But it's more of social problems lately, like that I've been openly harassed of my political beliefs. Not only that, I think I'm in love. Why, I don't really know. It really is not anything "wow" about her. A bit shorter than me, blonde hair and green eyes. So why have I started to feel this way for her now?
I don't really know. I think it may have something to do with that since I came out about me being communist I've been a bit frozen out of the groups. It's hard to make contact with people lately and it shouldn't be like that. My politics doesn't make me a different person now does it? But back to the topic at hand. This girl is probably the only one that has voluntarily spoken to me since then. She talks to me during class cheerfully, and I have never seen such kindness in a human being before. But then again, I have serious doubts about relationships with classmates, and I don't really wan't my heart broken again, one time is more than enough.

Communism. This ideology has been seriously dragged through the mud since the Sovjet Union. Not only that, it seems that all teachers at my school is against it, as they never mentions the good sides to it. I'm going to make contact with a local communist party now in the following days, and also have a small speech at Wednesday in class about communism. And I feel it's worth mentioning to you guys that I don't follow Marxism, Leninism or Stalinism. I prefer to have my own opinion regarding this matter. So, please don't see me as the bad guy here. I only really want this world to be fair, and the first step is always to get my word out to the people.

What else is there to say now, I've started reading philosophy more now than ever since I went objectivist. Interesting stuff, but not enough to warrant talking about it here.

So, long story short now. I'm probably going to put my political beliefs aside for some time, as I will focus more on my love life. We'll se how everything goes now. But odds are I will be a bit absent the coming days now. If I may ask you guys, how does one make a girl see that when we bleed we bleed the same?

When will this loneliness be over?

Fair..?

Crassi — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 16:37:41 GMT

This forum is starting to lose the grip on reality. Seriously. It's starting to be more like anarchy than a community.

Notice the similatities in the words communism and community?

I don't blame the mods. On a forum where 90% is teenagers you can only expect that it will go downhill someway or another. I've noted a few changes around here how people act. I can draw a few parallels with reality, like how it's the ones who break to rules who gets to change them. I have a hard time seeing what kind of society this is. Communism? Socialism? Those are of course the world every forum wishes for, a place where no one breaks the rules and no one needs to reinforce them. But when seeing who the majority of the people here act, this would be an impossibility. Anarchy (it has already begn, mind you) would break out instantly and chaos would erode. And how would our beloved webmaster act if all power of what he had created was taken from him?

Exactly.

I don't know how to solve this problem. Well, problem is the wrong word. Our mods and leaders are doing a great job. I don't blame them, but the members me included. We need to pull our act together and start moving forwards in the right direction, rather that tumbling helplessly backwards. Fairness might just be closer that we think, but only if we are ready to fight for it.

Sprained wrist and writers block

Crassi — Fri, 01 Aug 2008 19:53:01 GMT

Well, this sure as hell hasn't been a good week. Seriously, I'm in one of these periods when nothing at all works out for me. I could list up lots of things that annoy me just now, but that wouldn't really be gun wouldn't it?

But anyway, yesterday me and a lad where shooting some footage for a project including some basic parkour movements. It went rather well. It was tough since I had to display all movements at least two times due to the fact that we only could shoot from one angle at a time. After about three hours of active shooting I was to display some simple l�ch�. I must have done something wrong since I immediately felt a sharp pain in my right wrist. I didn't really see it as a problem and moved on. But during a demitour jump I missjudged my velocity and the firmness of the edge and hurt my wrist badly when I used it as support. The pain caused me to drop the grip on the edge and fell to the ground. It was a good two meter fall, and I reacted normally trying to ease the fall with my toes and palms. But my already damaged hand couldn't take anymore and got sprained as well as my thumb. That was of course the end of that session and probably anything the coming weeks. I can't really move my hand now, and it will take som time now until I can.

To top that, my back is starting to hurt more. I've had some slight backtrouble since my accident. I'm going to see a doctor soon. It's really hurting my active lifestyle nowadays. I can't bend over without the sharp pain in my lower back any longer. It feels like the back is going to snap anytime, and we wouldn't like that, would we.

What's more to say. For those of you that are unaware I write alot. Everything from short novels to renderings of existing work. But I've been in a state of writers block for some time now, and I'm starting to worry. I had a few projects that I'd love to pursue, but those are as of this day on hiatus.

Not more to say. Life sucks.

Oh and by the way. I'm going to be 15 in september, so I figured I write my wishes. My family ain't to keen to grant them, but I really didn't expect that. My wish(s) were rather simple. I want a staitjacket, a real medical kind and/or a crimson colored suit. By that I mean pants, jacket and fedora hat. That isn't so much to ask for? But my folks say that they don't really know where to get neither of that. I've tried to tell them that straitjackers can be ordered through sites like Ebay, but they of course doesn't believe in that. I've also said that a suit could be ordered though any good store that sells and makes clothes, but no. They are probably gonna get me something other. Like socks and underwear. Maybe a videogame, even though they know I'm not interested in that. I do appreciate that they care for my birthday and will try to get something. But why can't they just for once focus on something I really want? If they get me any of the things I request, I would gladly skip christmas present and live on the spirit. But why would I hope that? Silly me.

Cheap bastards.

Oh, also a girlfriend would be nice. Have any to spare?

~Jet