Is your AB/DLism related to your identity/personality?

[cuddlemonkey]

I think that constantly engaging in specific practices can alter your personality. When I've been in relationships where we constantly engaged in this kind of play, it totally altered the way I thought, behaved, and moved through the world, but it kind of wears off when it's not constantly around.

[dprdinky]

Yeah It's pretty much interwoven into my life at my age. There's an interesting book called LoveMaps written by Dr. Money. He points out in his book that children will often experience sexuality at a time when in reality they ought not to have experienced to begin with - i.e. molestation as an example. Others have come into contact with objects or items that become an attraction which then become attached to the child's feelings toward it, like in wearing of diapers past the age of 3 or 4, sometimes because of wetting at night, or being punished through having to wear diapers, or the implications - being the youngest known as the baby of the family. A child could also be affected by detachment of important people in their life, such as the lose of a mother of father or even worse to have been abused and trying to find that inner child.

You can see where this is leading. The book points out that children are the most vulnerable people and when these LoveMaps occur - often times become intertwined with the rest of their lives and unable to function well without these love maps.

So it is with diapers, for me. I've binged and purged so many times, felt the guilt and lose that life seems to be a never ending cycle. What has helped me has been counseling - and being able to see the interconnectedness to what happen to me as a child. Diapers became a punishment/I was reminded of being the youngest in the family and referred to as the "baby of the family"/having been physically and emotionally abused - I've used the diapers as a way for comfort, for escaping the memories, etc.

To say the least, counselors have basically informed me I'm clinically depressed - requiring continued use of medication to stabilize me and that I life will always be associated with diapers. So I've had to learn come to the realization that my abism is who I am and attempt to bring balance in my life so that it really doesn't overpower me.

It's been tricky, to say the least. My first marriage ended due to my wife wanting me to not have the diapers as part of me.
I thought I'd found the right wife/mommy in my second marriage, as she was very understanding and even diapered me. But there were other extenuating circumstances in her make up that prevented the marriage succeeding. So here I am, back living by myself, trying to keep a balance life and diapers still a great part of my life.