So I'm a big fan of noisy embarrassing plastic mattress protectors. They're getting more difficult to find these days as the more subtle cloth or terry covered kinds become more popular. But last weekend I hit the jackpot - a selection of noisy plastic bedwetting sheets at Pillow Talk (an Australian bedding/homewares store - I don't know if these exist overseas). They were for all different sized beds, not just kids beds, and best of all, had "Ideal for frequent bedwetters" printed right on the front. I had to have it, even if only for the thrill of buying it.
I finally got a chance to try it out the other night and discovered that it had a leak - I wound up with a palm-sized wet patch on the mattress underneath. So "bummer" I thought to myself - I guess I would just have to put a towel down on the bed underneath in future. But reading a thread about plastic sheets here just now gave me a much better idea: I can return it to the store and get a replacement. What could be better than walking in there, finding a cute sales assistant and telling her, in a somewhat round-about and legitimized way, that I still wet the bed. I won't just drop that of course - I'll just politely inform her that my waterproof mattress protector is not waterproof and that I have a stain on my bed as a result.
I feel a little seedy engaging in this sort of exhibitionism, involving others in my depraved fantasies. But there's no victim here. It's harmless, and I just can't wait to see how she reacts. So what do you guys think about this? Does anyone else enjoy this sort of thing - publicly outing yourself to bask in the humiliation. Is anyone highly morally opposed to this sort of behaviour?