Does anybody ever wonder about the source of their AB/DLism?

[BabyJayk]

Because I most certainly do. I find myself thinking about it on and off from time to time. I just wish I knew what it was so I could tell somebody if they ever asked.

I had kinda a rough childhood. A lot of moving around, two divorces, alcoholic, dirt bag, child-beating father, and a crew of equally drunken relatives that didn't help at all. Yeah it sucked but it was nothing major. Don't really remember a time when I wasn't getting hit as a kid. My Mom tells me my Dad was hitting me with a rolled up newspaper from the time I could crawl. I was never beaten within an inch of my life or anything though.

I noticed I started remembering scenes from when I was a Baby when I regressed and it made me wonder if there was a specific event that caused my AB/DL ism.
Any thoughts?

Do you know why youre an AB/DL? Do you wish you knew?

[Khaymen]

I believe all of us do to varying degrees. I haven't seen an explanation that satisfies me though.

[RawryCub]

My theory is, as children our minds are a blank canvas and in our childhood we took a particular interest in the comforts of a diaper. Most people would think it's silly because we were structured to think diapers are for babies and I'm not a baby anymore. For us that was either missing or ignored and overcome by the impulse to regress and escape the growing pains. As a result it is etched into our sub conscious as a pleasure and release from stress and as we mature it becomes a part of our sexuality being that it revolves around "that area". Diapers are not natural to humans as it was an invention to make things much cleaner. It's only bound to have some sort of psychological modification on some of us at a time in our life of exploring and understanding this strange reality we live in. But I can only speak from my own perspective, after all the truth only lies within ones self.

And a side note: I think any form of stress (such as abuse) can cause a child to want to regress. Child abuse can be a cause but not a direct cause for developing a diaper fetish. The direct cause would be the desire to regress.

[cgh]

I've wondered about it but never come to a conclusion about it...

[Angelbaby]

I grew up in a normal (rather strict, perhaps) home but I was always a very stressed out high anxiety child and according to my MH counselor I may have been a victim of abuse at a young age but I've blocked it out. (So they say) I have often wondered where my diaper fascination stemmed from and its been a part of my life as long as I can remember.

[onecho]

I grew up in a normal (rather strict, perhaps) home but I was always a very stressed out high anxiety child and according to my MH counselor I may have been a victim of abuse at a young age but I've blocked it out. (So they say) I have often wondered where my diaper fascination stemmed from and its been a part of my life as long as I can remember.

Sounds a lot like my situation. I had a very overbearing set of parents, although most of that was the fault of my mother. I developed OCD tendencies and other mechanisms to cope with my lack of control. While I am not sure that these maturations would typically be termed as coping, it was what helped me to get through living at home.

When I finally moved out, the obsessiveness seemed to worsen to a degree. While I knew I enjoyed padding, I didn't really had the chance to explore that side of me until my junior year in college. Once I did, though, my OCDness began to fade. I am still a very overly anxious person, but allowing myself to regress helps me escape from that mode of panic I always find myself in. It allows for the volume to be turned down and everything else, in turn, becomes more manageable.

I really don't know why I have the desire to regress, or cub, if you will. It could very well be me coping with past abuse. Even if I really believed this was the case, what could I do? I have no idea what form I would have received it in, no clue who it came from, or at what point in my life it occurred. I have mulled this over for many years and have come no closer to establishing any real abuse, outside of the verbal abuse, courtesy of my mom. Maybe that was the source and nothing more.

Regardless, I believe this need to rediscover childhood is my way of dealing within something in the past. It is a form of coping, one that may have initially started out as a way to quiet what troubled me as a kid, but has now switched roles, moving from a defensive position to an offensive one. My cubby side is the protector of the yet-unspoilt part of my soul, the part that has managed to weather everything thrown at it.

I suppose that's why I see it as such an asset. It gives me strength and a place to run to, no matter the cause. I guess that's why I am wondering less and less about the cause behind its formation and, instead, simply enjoying what it provides me today and, hopefully, for the rest of my life.

[Angelbaby]

Yeah that's my coping mechanism too. Funny thing is, once I started with the diapers I found that my panic attacks nearly disappeared. That for me was a huge reason to keep them even if my incontinence is sporadic.

[SillyFox]

I know mine. It was my fear for death after my uncle died. And around that time I felt wearing diapers and acting like a baby would help me cheat death in a way. It took me a long time to come, to terms that there's no way out of dieing. Once it was all over my love map was screwed so I became just a DL. My furry side is a story for another day.

[Robin]

I've been thinking a lot about mine, along with many of the other "kinks" I have and the majority of my memories and conclusions don't go to a happy place