Welcome to the site. I hope you can overcome your disdain for this kind of communication, because while it's definitely not as good as being able to talk with someone face to face, I think there's a real value to being able to converse with a wide range of people, particularly on a topic like this. With a community as widely spread and small in number as ours, there's just no way you could reasonably get to know so many in the real world.
A lot of us, particularly the older ones, have felt the kind of guilt you're expressing and while I worked through most of it on my own over time, this place helped in ways I wasn't expecting and I hope it will be able to bring you some measure of good feeling as well.
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