[teddy564339]

My heart started to pound. I started to breathe fast. My mind started to race. I simply couldn’t believe what I was looking at. How in the world could I have wet the bed? I hadn’t done that since I was three or four years old! I would have never ever even contemplated the possibility of it.

After my initial wave of panic, I tried to at least think clearly. First of all, I ran over to the door, shut it and then locked it. Then I tried to survey the damage. Even though I was still in a state of panic, I noticed that at least the blankets hadn’t gotten wet, which was good. Obviously my boxers were wet. So were the sheets. But it looked like that was all.

As I tried to control my breathing and lower my heart rate, I figured I could deal with my boxers, at least for the time being. I could just shove them somewhere…either in my suitcase, or the dresser in the closet, or even just under something in the closet. I couldn’t leave them there too long because it would start to stink…but for now that didn’t matter.

The sheets were the problem. Thankfully they were a dark blue, but the stain was still visible. There was no place I could put them without someone asking where they went. I thought that maybe I could just make the bed and hope no one would look underneath the blankets. But then I figured that it was too much to risk…what if Kylie’s mom (or as I thought with a cringe, Kylie herself) came in and decided that the bed wasn’t made up nicely enough? She would re-do it herself and notice the crime.

No…I’d have to fix the problem. And the only way I could do that was to wash the sheets myself. Luckily, Kylie’s parents had shown up where the washer and dryer were. They also were pretty close to my room. It was still pretty early, so there was a chance I could sneak the sheets into the washer before anyone was up. I knew Josh liked to sleep late, and I figured I could probably count on Kylie and the other girls to do the same.

For now I decided my best bet was to remove the sheets and ball them up or hide them so that no one saw the wet stain. If anyone asked where they were…I could just tell them that I had sweated a lot in the night and I wanted to wash them. Then, whenever I got the chance…I could just put them in the washer. Of course, it would be easier if I could do it before anyone was up...but at least that was a back-up plan.

I was still extremely nervous about the situation as I removed the sheets. So it made my heart drop even more when I realized that not only was there a stain on the sheets, but it had gone through to the mattress, too. Panic started to overtake me again…but I soon decided I could flip over the mattress. It wouldn’t be a complete long-term solution…but that didn’t matter for the moment. As quietly as I could, I flipped over the mattress. For now this worked…the stain wasn’t visible and I didn’t imagine it would start to smell yet. I figured I’d cross that bridge when I got to it.

After changing into a clean set of clothes, I made sure the sheets weren’t visible and checked outside of my room. Staying as quiet as I could, I checked all of the bedrooms down the hall. Kylie’s parent’s room was on the other floor (the first floor), but I noticed that all of the other bedroom doors were shut. I figured this was my best bet.

As quickly and quietly as I could, I rushed back to my room, grabbed the sheets (as well as my boxers), and raced to the laundry room. I quickly stuffed the sheets and my boxers into the washer and dumped some detergent in. I started the washer up and prayed that no one would find out what happened.

I finally started to calm down. Unless someone noticed the mattress, I was pretty sure no one would find out what happened.

But then I heard footsteps coming up the stairs outside of the laundry room. I started to panic again, not knowing whether to hide or make a run for it. Figuring that I’d be able to explain dashing easier than hiding, I began making it back to my room before anyone saw me.

Unfortunately, Kylie’s mom saw me as soon as I came out of the laundry room. She looked a little surprised, and then she said to me, “I thought I heard the washer running. What are you doing, Eric?”

I was still short of breath and my heart was pounding, but at least I was able to control myself. “Umm…,” I said. “Well, you see…during the night, I ended up sweating a good bit. And uh…I didn’t want to have to sleep with the same sheets again. So I figured I’d…just wash them right now.”

“Oh!” she said in slight surprise. “Ok then…that’s fine. I just thought it was funny that someone was doing laundry at this hour. But just so you know,” she added with a smile. “I would have done it for you had you let me know…you didn’t have to do it yourself.”

“Um…okay,” I said, still nervous.

“Eric, are you okay?” she asked. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost!”

I quickly thought of a small lie. “Well…um…you see, right after I threw my sheets in the washer, I was worried that maybe you guys would be mad at me for using the washer without permission.”

She smiled again. “Oh…is that all? Not only are you a hard worker, but you’re thoughtful, too! I can see why Kylie gets along with you! Well,” she said, giving me a wink. “Feel free to use our washer any time you want. But like I said, I’ll always do laundry for you any time you want. In fact…I’ll put those in the dryer for you once they’re done.”

“No!” I said, surprising her a bit more. “I mean…no, I’ll do it. I’d hate to trouble you…especially this early.”

“Of course, being thoughtful again!” she said, still smiling. “Well, now that you mention it, I did want to go for a walk on the beach. So, if you insist…that’s fine.”

With that, she turned around and went downstairs. Feeling utterly amazed at how I dodged that bullet, I raced back to my bedroom before I had a heart attack.

It took me a good fifteen minutes before I completely calmed myself down. But finally, I told myself “Ok…you have nothing to worry about…no one will ever find out.”

Thankfully, that turned out to be true for the morning. After I went downstairs and had some breakfast, I went back up and put the sheets and boxers in the dryer. The stains weren’t visible at all…but I still preferred to keep them away from everyone. By the time I went back downstairs, Kylie, Josh, Monica and Kristin had all come downstairs. Kylie’s dad was there too.

It’s funny…even after everything I had gone through, I still felt nervous about being around Kylie. In fact, it seemed even more pronounced than normal. Thankfully, they were all engaged in conversation, so other than a brief “good morning” I was able to keep my mouth shut and not have to answer any awkward questions.

Together we all decided we wanted to spend the day getting to know the town a bit and letting Kylie and her dad show us around. It was fun…it was a great town with lots of fun shops and young people. We had lunch at a cozy little restaurant and saw a movie afterwards. I was able to stay pretty relaxed…though every now and then my thoughts would jump back to the sheets in the dryer. I found it easiest if I tried to ignore Kylie for the time being, as hard as that was. I honestly didn’t think my mind could handle any more pressure.

When we got back I was able to get my sheets out and put them back on my bed. There weren’t any marks at all, and I felt I could finally breathe easier. Of course it was pretty awkward when Kylie’s mom started going on about how thoughtful I was by doing my own laundry, but my heart skipped a beat when Kylie looked at me and said, “Eric, that’s so responsible of you. I like that.” That totally made Josh and Monica’s taunts endurable.

Feeling happy about Kylie’s comment, I figured the best thing was to just go out for a walk on the beach with just Josh and me. For the first time that day I was able to completely relax…just enjoy the beautiful beach, joking around with Josh and not worrying about anything. It was at these moments that I was able to forget about all of the stress Kylie caused me and only focus on the good things. It was times like this that I felt truly alive…it was pure bliss. I felt on top of the world. The whole bedwetting incident was pushed all the way to the back of my mind.

To cap off the great day, we had another good dinner and all of us young people enjoyed playing ping pong and watching TV in Kylie’s basement. Again, it was easier just to listen to Kylie and not say anything to her during these times. She didn’t seem to notice. While this made my life easier, I couldn’t help but feel a little hurt…did it make no difference to her if I spoke to her or not? Did she not care about my company?

As I got ready for bed I continued to contemplate this. It wasn’t until I got into bed that I remembered what had happened the previous night. My heart started to race again…what if it happened again?

“No,” I told myself. “Last night was a total fluke. I haven’t wet the bed since I was a little kid…it won’t happen again.” But, just to be safe, I made sure I went to the bathroom before going to bed. I also flipped over the mattress…in case it happened, I didn’t want both sides to have stains.

As I closed my eyes in bed, I felt a huge mix of emotions…my stress and worry over Kylie mixing with my absolute joy that I had felt that day. I drifted off to sleep as the emotions tumbled over one another.


Before I knew it I was awake again. As I woke up, I felt a knot in my stomach. Was it possible I had wet the bed again? Nervously, I threw aside the blanket to see.

My heart dropped again. Just like the day before, there was a huge wet spot over my crotch and the sheets. I let out a silent groan…what was going on? I began to freak out a little bit…what if there was a real problem with me.

I soon realized I didn’t have the time to worry about this. I had gotten so caught up in my feelings the night before that I realized I hadn’t locked the door to the bedroom…I hadn’t even closed it all of the way.

I knew that I would have to once again quickly go lock it before I could fix everything. This time, however, I wasn’t nearly as lucky. As soon as I stood up next to the bed, the door swung open and I saw the very last person I wanted to see at that moment. Kylie said “Good morning, Eric!” right before her eyes darted to the clearly visible wet spot over my boxers.

I, of course, was too stunned to even do anything but stand there frozen. After about two seconds, however, Kylie looked at me in horror and said, “Eric, I’m so sorry!” and quickly turned around, left, and shut the door behind her. I just continued to stand there, feeling like I was about to faint from what just happened.

Just like before, my heart was pounding and I was breathing fast. It had happened so quickly that I didn’t even have time to really process what had happened. At that point, it was starting to hit me…Kylie, the girl that I was so deeply obsessed with, had seen me in probably the most humiliating state that I could possibly be in…having just wet myself.

For a short bit I began thinking that maybe she actually hadn’t noticed that my boxers were wet. Maybe she had just seen me standing there in my boxers and was ashamed to see me with so little clothes on.

But then I looked down at my boxers and realize that that made no sense. First of all, since my boxers were a light blue, the stain was clearly visible. Secondly, Kylie had stared at me for plenty of time…if she had been embarrassed about seeing me in my boxers, she would have immediately turned and shut the door. And just to make me completely lose hope, I realized that as long as she had the slightest suspicion, she would easily put it together with my act of washing the sheets the previous day.

As I sat there contemplating everything, I felt like curling up inside a cave and just dying. I doubt I had ever felt lower in my life…this was shame and embarrassment beyond anything I had remembered feeling in a long time. It would have been bad enough if it had been some stranger, or Josh, or even my parents. But Kylie…the person who I felt feelings about unlike anyone else I had ever met…it was almost enough to make me feel like life wasn’t living. As overdramatic as that sounds, that’s how I felt.

I didn’t have time to think about it much more, because right at that moment I heard a soft knock on the door, and I heard Kylie’s voice say very softly “Eric?”

It seemed as though Kylie had just shut the door out of instinct and stood there contemplating what she had just seen. Even though I felt like ignoring her and pretending I had just disappeared, I also knew by now that I would have to face Kylie at some point. I felt like a little kid who had just done something really bad…and I now I was facing a parent who was about to punish me.

I quickly put a pair of pants on over my boxers and threw the blanket over the sheets, with the still distant hope that I could still hide my act of shame. Even though my throat was extremely dry, I still managed to say, “Yeah?”

Kylie paused for a few seconds…I could tell this was awkward for her. “Umm…Eric? Would it be okay if I came in there?”

Again, I saw no way I could refuse and make up for it later. Feeling totally stunned, I just said, “Okay” in a hollow voice.

Slowly, Kylie opened the door. She walked in the room cautiously and sat on the edge of the bed, not even looking at me. I could tell that she really wanted to speak but also wanted to be very careful with her words.

She talked without looking at me. I soon dropped my head and didn’t even want to look at her. “Well…um…first, I’m sorry for barging in on you. I didn’t mean to…well…”

I couldn’t think of anything to say. So she kept going.

“Anyway…well, just to be sure…I know this isn’t something you want to talk about…but did you really…you know…”

She paused for a bit, trying to phrase the words… “Wet yourself?” she continued.

Even though it was almost unbearable, I squeaked, “Yes.”

“Well, just so you know…it’s ok. It’s not really a big deal.”

I felt like this was a total lie. Of course it was a big deal. Wetting the bed isn’t something normal people do.

I finally felt like I could say something. I just had to or I wouldn’t be able to stand all of the pressure.

“Well…um…it actually…happened in the night.”

“You mean…you…wet the bed?”

It sounded so horrible coming from her. “Yeah,” I gulped, our eyes still not meeting.

“Oh…well,” she began. “I know it’s…a very sensitive subject. But, you could have told me, you know. I wouldn’t have told anyone.”

For some reason I felt the immediate need to justify myself. I looked at her, and I saw her look me in the face. “It’s not a normal thing!” I stammered. “Honest! Two nights ago was the first time I’ve done it in…forever! And it happened again last night.”

I could tell she was thinking about all of this. “Oh…yeah…so that’s why you…yesterday…”

As she continued to think, it didn’t seem like she believed that this had only happened twice.

“So…well…do you think…it’s going to happen again?”

“Um…I don’t know…”

“Well…for now, it’s not a big deal. We can just…wash everything again. I can put your stuff in with some of mine. And I’ll wash it…mom and dad won’t be surprised.”

I wanted to be quiet, but I felt the need to come clean completely. “But…what about the mattress?”

“Well, it’s pretty old…I don’t think mom or dad will notice. And probably near the end of the summer we’ll throw it away anyway.”

This made me feel a little better, but not much. “Um…Kylie?” I asked. “You’re not gonna…you know…tell anyone about this?”

“Oh! Of course not!” she said quickly. “Don’t worry, Eric…honestly, it’s ok. Stuff…happens. It’s just…well, I hope it doesn’t keep happening.”

“Yeah…” I said, my voice trailing off.

“Well, anyway…let’s not worry about it anymore. I just wanted to know. Because that’s what friends do, right? Support and help each other.”

Again, I felt slightly better. At least Kylie still called me a friend. “Yeah…you’re right.”

“It’ll just be our little secret. No one else has to know.”

“Yeah…that’s right. A secret.”

“Ok then,” she said. “You can just…get cleaned up and everything…and just put the stuff in my room. I’ll get it…you don’t need to worry.”

As she got up and started to walk out, she said, “I’ll see you in a bit, then.”

Right as she was about to walk out, I said, “Kylie? I just wanted to say…thanks.”

She gave me a small smile, and then walked out.



This was honestly unlike anything I had ever felt before. I felt totally numb. Even though part of me felt like I was totally blowing this out of proportion…I couldn’t change how I felt.

Part of me felt all right in spite of all of the horrible feelings. I think it was because Kylie was at least still talking to me. And she also acted ok about everything…she tried to support me and help me get through this.

But then I started thinking…isn’t that what anybody would have said? I mean, Josh wouldn’t have made fun of me or anything either. He would still be my friend, too…at least to my face. But what was Kylie truly thinking? What did she really think of me now? Was she ashamed to know that she was friends with a guy who wet the bed? She probably even thought this was normal for me.

‘Pity’, I thought to myself. ‘Pure pity. That’s the only reason why she was no nice to me. She’s so perfect…and I’m just…nothing. I’m worse than that…’

I honestly didn’t feel like ever leaving that room again. But I had faith that Kylie would at least keep her word and keep the whole thing secret. So, after showering, I took my boxers and sheets over to Kylie’s room. I knocked, but there was no answer. I assumed she wasn’t in, so I opened the door and dropped the stuff in her room without even looking around.

I went downstairs and saw that Josh, Kristen and Kylie’s parents were already up. They were just talking relaxingly. I wished that I could be like them…not worrying about all of this.

They were talking about the beach supplies shop that Kylie’s parents owned. They talked about how they were going to re-open the shop the next day. They told us how they needed to get everything ready, first, and they needed our help to do so. They also said how they weren’t really hiring us to work in the shop…they couldn’t really legally hire or pay us. They just needed us to help them out…and in return we would be their guests.

So, for most of the day we were going to be getting everything completely ready for the re-opening. I was glad to have something to do…it helped me get my mind off of everything. Even though I was much more quiet than normal, I stayed focused on what I was told to do. Everyone kept asking me if something was wrong, but I just said I was tired.

Once we were done later that evening, we returned to the house. I was so mentally and physically drained that I just collapsed on the couch. It was actually pretty nice…I just stayed there and relaxed. It was great to just chill out and watch everyone else. I laughed at their jokes, listened to their stories, enjoyed the music they played on the radio…it was just peaceful.

After dinner, I grabbed my headphones and went out for a walk on the beach alone. There was so much to contemplate…

I had tried to just avoid talking to Kylie all day. It was hard enough to talk to someone who I was so embarrassed to be around. But to top that off with my usual paranoia and insecurity of being around her…it was more than I could stand. I started to regret ever coming here.

But then I thought of all of those good feelings again. Every good thing that Kylie had ever said about me. It was just so frustrating not knowing what Kylie really felt. Even though I knew I should just ask her…I simply couldn’t. I didn’t have the guts.

I went back in after a while. It had gotten dark. Interestingly enough, as soon as I got in, Kylie approached me.

“Eric?” she asked. “Will you go for a walk on the beach with me?”

I was surprised. My immediate reaction was to avoid being rude, so I agreed.

We walked for a long time without saying a word. I felt pretty awkward still…I just didn’t have anything to say. It was crazy…a few weeks ago I would have cherished this moment more than anything else. This was a walk on the beach with Kylie…at her request. But now, after the whole bedwetting incident…I didn’t even know where to begin.

Finally, she broke the silence. “Eric…I know it’s probably the last thing you want to talk about…but truly, one hundred percent…it is OK what happened. It’s not like you did anything wrong. You couldn’t help what happened.”

I just kept walking, not really knowing what to say.

“Today I could tell it was still bothering you. Don’t let it. We’re here to have fun. And I’m glad you’re here. Don’t let something stupid like this ruin it.”

It was amazing how much better this made me feel. It completely validated any feelings I had that I had been being stupid by worrying about all of this.

“Do you really mean that?” I asked. “I mean, it seems like you’re just saying it to make me feel better.”

“No, honestly…it’s really ok. Besides, I DO want you to feel better. I know it’s embarrassing…but these things happen. I don’t care.”

I suddenly was able to relax. I felt the warm sea breeze and enjoyed the sound of the waves. And to top it all off…I wasn’t nearly as nervous talking to Kylie! After going through something as intense as the whole bedwetting incident…everything I had worried about before it didn’t seem to matter at all. I felt like I could enjoy myself with Kylie.

However, she did break this feeling just a bit. This was because she then asked, “So…do you think this is going to happen again tonight?”

“Oh!” I said in surprise. “Um…I…honestly don’t know.”

“Well, if it really hasn’t been happening until now…I’m a little worried. Do you think maybe you should see a doctor?”

“Hmmm,” I said. “Maybe. I haven’t really thought about it.”

“Well, we’ll see tomorrow. After that…we’ll have to figure something out. We can’t keep washing sheets and keeping the mattress hidden…”

I was too uncomfortable thinking about everything to respond. Kylie appeared to have given up on it, so I didn’t have to worry.


I went to bed that night feeling better than I had the entire day, but I was still really nervous about waking up in the morning.

I went to the bathroom again and tried to avoid drinking water. I also ended up lying in bed awake for hours, feeling nervous about going to sleep.

However, my fatigue got the best of me and I fell asleep. When I awoke in the morning, I hoped nothing had happened…but I wasn’t surprised to see yet another stain on the sheets.

After once again hiding the evidence, I tracked Kaylie down and privately said to her, “It happened again.” It wasn’t easy bringing it up, but I knew that she would end up just asking at some point anyway.

She looked somewhat disappointed, but like me, she wasn’t surprised.

“Okay,” she whispered to me. “Honestly, Eric, I really think you had better see a doctor. I’ll let my parents know…they’re probably worried about you already, since you were so out of it yesterday. We may not be able to get an appointment until tomorrow, though…”

I just nodded, knowing that she was right. I hoped that a doctor might at least be able to give me some more information…or maybe even put a stop to all of this. It would be so nice to get my life back on track again.

It was the day of the big re-opening, but Kylie’s parents insisted that I stayed home instead of going to the shop. Monica offered to stay with me, and Kylie’s parents said it was just as well…typically only two or three of us would need to go into the shop to help out at a time. Monica was good company…we played cards, went for a few walks, watched a DVD, laid out on the beach…it was ok. And even though I missed her, I did feel more relaxed with Kylie gone.

Before I knew it, evening had struck again. I found out that it would be two more days before I could see the doctor, which was slightly depressing news. But, it was okay…Kylie and I had done a pretty good job so far keeping everything secret.

That night, though, I was in for another surprise. As I was getting ready for bed, Kylie came into my room holding a big paper bag in her arms.

“What’s up?” I asked her, looking at the bad.

“Well, Josh, you see,” she began. “You heard that you won’t be able to see the doctor until the day after tomorrow, right?”

“Yeah,” I said, still eying the bag.

“Well, like I said earlier…it’s going to be a big pain to keep washing these sheets. Besides, that mattress won’t be able to take too much more, either. So I kept trying to think of another solution. And I think I found one.”

“Really?” I asked, feeling better. It would be great to not have to worry about the mattress or the sheets anymore.

“Yeah, I think so. And…I know that you might not like it, but really, I thought about it a lot, and I really think it’s the best idea.”

The tiny bit of nervousness I felt at these words was nothing compared to the shock and disbelief I had when I saw what she pulled out of the bag.

It was a pack of diapers.