[Dr_J]

Chapter Three it is!!! (I'm up to Chapter 5....so as soon as that chapter comes...then you will have to be patient with me ^_^)

Chapter 3

They say that college is when you finally find out things about yourself that you never thought would be possible…I couldn’t agree more. No family, no limits to what you feel like doing, many open-minded people. It’s the perfect place to unleash your full potential, as well as discover other parts of your life that had been lying dormant for years, which is exactly what happened in my case!

I’d been accepted for enrollment at the Hansen Institute of Technology on the day I turned eighteen; one hell of a birthday present if you ask me! The school was about 130 miles west of where I lived, and I must say that I was impressed by pretty much everything I saw when I visited the campus. The whole university was surrounded by trees and sat atop a hill. All of the main buildings were at the center of the campus, and the dorms…easily the greatest thing! The dorms were single rooms! There were three rooms to a suite, and six suites per building. After months of dreading the thought of having to share a room with a complete stranger, I came to find that I’d have my own room! I wouldn’t have to worry about my privacy being invaded! Freedom was still mine! The summer would move along rather quickly, what with me working like crazy and going to tons of graduation parties.

The end of August came, and my stuff was packed: my computer, my television and gaming system, my clothes, some posters, a shelf, an abundance of food and a fridge that my parents had bought for me. My whole life packed into my car. The two hour drive into a town I’d never even heard of would soon be my new home.

I couldn’t wait to study Electrical Engineering and meet new people and faces. I’d heard so many things about college that far surpassed any type of high school setting. There weren’t as many fights, people partied and socialized with others regardless of social status, and most importantly, I’d be able to get a decent job once I was finished. What does high school get you? A lifetime guarantee that you’ll be flipping burgers or cleaning hotel rooms. And finally, the one thing that truly excited me the most: I’d finally, after so many years, be able to try wearing a diaper in the comfort of my own dorm! All of these things made the drive seem much longer than it actually was, but I’m a patient guy, so I knew it’d be well worth the wait.

Once I arrived at HIT (yeah, sounds silly, doesn’t it?), my heart was overcome with excitement. My parents soon arrived and parked their car next to mine, and after I signed in to the residence halls and said hello to a few strangers, I began unpacking. My parents helped me (well, more like my dad helped. My mom was never one to do any strenuous lifting, strenuous lifting being anything over ten pounds…) In merely an hour I was settled into my room. My rock band posters lined the walls, my computer was all hooked up and ready to go, and my closet shelves were stacked high with a ridiculous amount of food.

“John, is this everything?” my dad asked.

“Yep! I think I’m all set!”

“Oh, hang on! I almost forgot!” he reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a green envelope and handed it to me.

“What’s this?”

“Just open it, son!” my mom said excitedly.

I carefully opened the envelope since I hated ripping cards. Inside was of course a card, but it wasn’t an ordinary card…well, I guess it was ordinary. The card was plain on the outside, with the exception of the words “We Love You, Son” on the front. Inside the card read:

John,
We’re so proud of you for making it this far! We love you so much and we’ll support you in whatever you do!
Love,
Mom and Dad

Next to this letter was a rectangular piece of paper that was supposed to resemble a dollar bill. I flipped the paper over and where the President’s head was supposed to be was my father’s head. Beneath his picture read “Five Hundred Dollars”.

“Is this some kind of joke?” I laughed while smiling at my parents.

“We put some extra money in your account, honey. You worked so hard this summer, and we felt you could use a little spending money while you’re up here!”

Now I’m no sap, but nobody had ever done anything like that for me before, and for a second I thought that my heart would burst from being so happy. I thanked and hugged both of my parents. We then said our goodbyes and I walked my parents out to their car. One minute later, they were gone; I was free.

I held onto the card as I headed back into my dorm. Over and over again I read it. They really were proud! But, would they be so proud if they knew that they were parents to an infantilist? I imagined what would’ve happened had they known. They probably wouldn’t have bought me my fridge…hell, they probably wouldn’t have even come up to say goodbye to me. I shook the thought and logged onto my computer as I waited for the arrival of my suitemates.

Jill was online as soon as I opened my messenger, so we of course chatted some more, and I bragged about how I was moved into my dorm. She simply replied by calling me a dork and talked about how she was going to be moving into her dorm in about a week. We exchanged schedules and talked about random nonsense for a while until she asked me a silly question:


Jill: So, where’s your school again, mister?

Was she serious? I laughed and told her again, then called her a loser for forgetting. We laughed some more and then came a stillness on my messaging program.

Me: Having an epiphany, Jill? Haha

Jill: Something like that, jerk! It looks like we’re going to be closer once I start going to school!

Me: What?! You’re shitting me!

Jill: No! Look, dork! You’re in Hansen! I’m going to Limescale! They’re only…150 miles away from each other!

How the hell had we not known that?! My heart raced with excitement as I immediately thought about how we’d finally be able to meet each other in person! The phone calls and messaging sessions were good, but we’d been talking about going to see each other for the longest time, yet neither of us had the money to make the trip (we were about 500 miles away from each other), nor did we think our parents would approve at the time. But you don’t need your parents’ approval when you’re in college! 

Just the thought of us hanging out made me happy, and no, not just because she “babied” me. Her sense of humor was a bit out there, but it was enough to make me laugh almost all of the time, not to mention she was quite pretty (at least from what her pictures showed!)

We immediately made plans for her to come up. In about one month, she’d come up for a weekend and we’d have a hell of a time. I told her how we’d find a bunch of stuff to do while she was visiting, and this just made us even more excited. I then bit the bullet and made what I thought would be a stupid move as our conversation continued.

Me: Hell, I’ll even let you baby me when you’re up here! Haha just kidding!

Jill: Lol, I’ll do it!

No way…no way!

Me: Ohhhh, sure you will! I bet you’ll get some big diapers and all that other baby stuff, too! Lol.

Jill: Oh you know it! You’ll just have to wait and see! Hehehehehe.

I laughed some more and was in a daze to say the least. She must have been joking! No way had I just pulled something like that off so easily! There must’ve been a catch! Still, I chose not to push my luck and just laughed some more, then told her that I had to settle some things into my dorm and signed off.

God, you must be kidding! This must be a sick joke! I could never! How would I be able to let her do that if she didn’t know that I liked being babied? No…she has to know. I…I have to tell her.

I sighed as I browsed the internet aimlessly. Jill must’ve been joking. But, what if she wasn’t? I’d be able to decline her offer when she came up to visit, but wouldn’t that ultimately lead to her finding out about me? No. I didn’t want to wait until the last minute to tell her! I felt that we knew each other enough for me to be able to trust her with something so…dark (I call it dark because my secret had never seen the light of day nor the tip of my tongue). My body and mind soon became torn between letting her know and keeping it to myself and continuing to fear judgment. Another week would pass before I made my decision, along with some other contributing factors.

My suitemates were some of the coolest people I’d met, and I had made a few acquaintances within the first few days of classes, but for some reason I still felt so alone. I’d heard that every college kid goes through that phase, but I for one didn’t like it at all. I needed to cheer myself up, and quick! That was when I came up with an idea that would be sure to make me happy and shake off my negative feelings: I’d finally try out a diaper. Nothing too fancy. I’d just wear one and see how it and I felt. So, that Wednesday night before I went to bed, I carefully looked around the internet to see what I could find. I wanted to make sure that I was getting my money’s worth, but I also needed to ensure that my purchase would be discrete.

I went to a few of the online infantilist communities and snooped around the forums in search of recommendations of a good brand to try out. Some users wrote that the typical adult diapers were fine, but there was one brand that kept popping up, and every single user swore that it was the best: CoucheCoos (pronounced cootchie coos…so original, I know). Every single post regarding this diaper was positive. I couldn’t find one single bad thing about it. Super thick, babyish smell, discrete shipping, decent price…they were soon going to be mine! Before the clock struck midnight, I had purchased an eight pack of these seemingly legendary diapers for about twelve bucks, including shipping. They would arrive in my dorm mailbox within the next week. Sure they’d have to be hidden whenever I’d have people in my room, but I wasn’t really concerned at the moment. No, I was much too happy with my purchase! All’s I had to was wait and make sure that nobody on campus saw what was inside of the package once it arrived!

The following week I checked my mailbox every single day. I’d gotten a bunch of junk mail from credit card companies, and soon became discouraged when my package didn’t arrive. I had a couple of more days before the week ended, but it still brought my spirits down. Then, it happened. As soon as I shut my mailbox, one of the RA’s called my name from behind the desk.

“Are you John Morrows?” she asked.

“Y-yes. Hi!” I said with a smile.

“Hello! You’ve got a package back here! Someone must’ve forgotten to put it in your mailbox today!”

My head felt like a balloon, just floating and expanding, waiting to explode from the excitement. I tried my hardest not to blush, and I think I did pretty well, because the RA didn’t seem to notice.

“Oh, well thanks! I can take it right now if that’s okay.” I said kindly.

“Sure thing! Just sign here!” she handed me a pen and pointed on the piece of paper.

My heartbeat quickened as my hand swiftly guided the pen across the paper. It was mine! I had done it! The RA gently moved the box around in her hand, but no sounds came from it.

What the hell are you doing?! If that box breaks…

“Pretty big box!” she observed.

“Yeah. They always do that when you order something! Place the items in a huge box with all of those damned packing peanuts!” I joked.

The RA laughed as she handed me my treasure. I thanked her and excitedly hurried off to my car. As soon as I saw that nobody was around, I opened the trunk of my car and carefully placed the box inside. Then, like an excited kid on Christmas, I opened the box as quickly as possible as I held my breath. Beneath the cardboard encasement was yet another package, only this one looked similar to that of a pack of baby wipes. I searched my surroundings once more. The coast was clear. I was going for it! I ripped open the white pack, and soon gasped in awe. There they were; the diapers. The biggest diapers that I’d ever seen in my entire life! They were stacked so perfectly, and the babyish smell that came from them was intoxicating, almost mesmerizing. I took four out of the box and quickly placed them in my book bag, then covered the box with an old blanket and closed my trunk.

I-I can’t believe it! I did it! Wake me up if I’m dreaming! Ha! Hahaha! Come tonight, I will finally have done it!

I practically ran back to my dorm, smiling and saying hello to everyone along the way. My suitemates asked me what I was all happy about when I entered the dorm, but I simply told them that it’d just kicked in that I was away from my parents for an extended period of time. I walked into my room and closed the door lightly so to not make anyone suspicious. My bag was placed on my bed and unzipped in one quick movement. I gently pulled out the four plastic pieces of gold and held them up as if I’d just discovered some ancient secret.

I ran my hands over them slowly and breathed in their infantile scent. The plastic/cloth combination on the outside was just as I’d imagined; so soft and without any wrinkles, with the baby blocks on the front as a decoration. I then made my way to the inside of the diaper and felt my endorphins make their way into my bloodstream. So cottony soft, so comfortable, and the scent only increased when it was opened. The tabs were symmetrical from each other as I carefully examined them. Whoever made these knew their target market quite well! I quickly placed all four of them in my closet and placed them inside of a shoebox, then covered the shoebox with a bunch of bathroom towels. Just a few more hours remained, then I would finally be able to try out what I’d been longing for!

That night, after I’d eaten a little snack and gotten ready for bed, I felt ready. That is, until I thought of something: my suitemates. Would they hear me or the diaper? That’s when I came up with yet another ingenious idea.

“Hey Dan! You notice how thick these freaking doors are?” I asked my suitemate.

“Oh shit!” he said as he examined the door. “You’re right! Ha!”

“I wonder how good they are at blocking sound?”

“Only one way to find out!”

Dan closed his door and within moments blared his oldies music. While I could hear muffled vocals and instruments, I was confident that I’d be okay. I then told my suitemates that I was tired and I had class early tomorrow (hey, 10:00 is early!) and was soon in my room. The shades were closed, the doors were locked, and the only source of light came from my desk lamp. The stage was set, the locks were secured…I was ready.

I quietly removed my pajamas and boxers and listened for any footsteps that could’ve been heading towards my door. Once I was certain that nobody was coming, I took the shoebox out of its hiding place and pulled one of the diapers out. My hand trembled with excitement as I unfolded and opened up the diaper. This thing was huge! It extended from my toes to my thighs! I became even more excited as I laid myself and the diaper down on the floor. The softness that I felt made me freeze for a brief moment so I could soak in the feeling, but I knew it’d just get better once I was done. I folded the diaper over my front, then quietly taped the diaper up on the left side, then the right side. I was enveloped in babyish softness! The padding I felt between my legs and on my bottom gave me a natural high! I touched the diaper with my hands and almost laughed out loud. This was amazing! I then stood up to look at myself in the mirror. That’s when I noticed that the diaper wasn’t exactly taped up too tightly. It sagged a little, but I pulled it up and tried to refasten the tapes. That only helped a little, but I knew it was impossible to get them on just right without help from somebody else. I opened the closet door where my mirror was and looked at myself. My diaper was gigantic and my tee-shirt just barely covered it! I looked almost like an infant and I couldn’t help but to laugh at myself for looking rather silly. I tried to close my legs together, and when I realized I could barely do that, I laughed a little more.

The clock told me that it was getting late, so I put the rest of the diapers away and landed gently on my bed with just my diaper and shirt on. My high was euphoric, and nothing would bring it down. Why hadn’t I tried this sooner? Why had I locked away my desire for so long? I was a fool to say the least!

I then wondered about Jill as I stared at my ceiling. Would she handle this well, and if so, would she be able to keep the secret between us? I could only hope. That night, I made a promise to myself that before Jill came up to visit, she’d know about me…she’d know…that I was an infantilist. I fell asleep wrapped up in my diaper and beneath my covers, and slept the best that I’d ever slept before.