ADISC.org - View Single Post

Abby_Cullen · 10-04-2008

Hmm since others have told you your grammar and spelling isn't the greatest, I'm going to say something different, for the sake of being different.

Your concept is very thin... I feel like I've read this story a million times, because this idea has been used, a million times. I'm sorry to say, but it's too generic for my liking.

You also have very little description. I have no sense of your character, all I know is that she's pretty, petite, and 16. That's it... your character is really 2 dimentional. Try adding more to her personality, thoughts, feelings, and other things.

10-04-2008	#8 (permalink)
Abby_Cullen Will you be my lion? Historical Donor Staff Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Forks, Washington. Age: 18 Posts: 2,337 Threads: 93 Gallery Uploads: 37 Blog Entries: 11	Hmm since others have told you your grammar and spelling isn't the greatest, I'm going to say something different, for the sake of being different. Your concept is very thin... I feel like I've read this story a million times, because this idea has been used, a million times. I'm sorry to say, but it's too generic for my liking. You also have very little description. I have no sense of your character, all I know is that she's pretty, petite, and 16. That's it... your character is really 2 dimentional. Try adding more to her personality, thoughts, feelings, and other things. Last edited by Abby_Cullen; 10-04-2008 at 07:11 PM.