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Mr Alex · 05-04-2008

Instructions: Refrain from insulting my intelligence please. I already feel stupid enough. All of this is true.

Pre-Story: My signature!

Anyway, so I had already planned this out, this is how I'd ordered before, buying along with Jinx, or computer parts. I knew I needed to get some, and I knew it was the perfect time, Spring break, I needed them, and I would go to great lengths.

I ordered some ATN's hit the 2-3 day shipping (USPS priority mail) and I'll skip the days in between. I ordered Tuesday, arrived Thursday. Amazing, Northshore shipped from IN I'm in MI. Anyway so they came Thursday morning, and I hid them around the corner from the garage next to my basement back door. (One Half of our basement is above ground.) She was leaving, so I grabbed them and ripped them all out of there, and hid them all. So I got one out, and guess what I did with it, put it in the oven, oooh yeah. If you believed that please poke yourself with a thumb tack.

Anyway, so after that the day went by normally, I got home around 8 maybe. I picked up another out of my hiding spot, one of them that is, because I was planning on doing something, but I heard her coming down the stairs so I just dropped it on the floor, she asked what I was doing in there and I said I was just getting something, she didn't really believe me, and I knew I was ****ed at that time.

Anyway so she found them, I said I had just stolen them from my old as dirt grandma, she bought that. She talked to me about why was I doing this, she asked me if I was feeling stressed, and I said no, she said then why are you doing this, I said I don't know. She said that I shouldn't do this, and said I needed to have some sort of other way of getting rid of stress. She said that if I keep doing this, I will regret it later in life. She asked if I wanted to stop, and I said yes, trust me, arguing with her is pointless, I could probably torture her, and she would NOT move on this. I asked her if I could just talk to my Counselor before she did anything.

Then she went back and found the rest of the bag,

she asked where the other one was, I was wearing it, so she asked that, and I told her. (She asked if I was.) Anyway, she was all bitchy, as she is sometimes, and instead of trying to deal with her I just said, can I talk to (Blank) now PLEASE. She said, OK and left. At this point, I'm pretty pissed, but showing her that wouldn't benefit anyone,

I was pissed at her, because she said that doing this is just like me drinking, smoking, or doing drugs. It would be easier for me to drink than it would be to get diapers. There is a fridge next to me filled with bud light, and a bar about 20 feet away. She says she can't trust me because of this, but its her fault for not trusting me, I don't do anything illegal.

Anyway, I just ran outside and took it off and threw it in the trash, she came down and said some stuff that I cannot remember, and then left.

The next day, I wake up and note that their is a note in the bathroom that says Appointment at 4:30 So I thought, good, maybe I can fix her. I noticed that the box I had gotten them in was moved, I should have killed it, but I didn't I wanted a box to keep stuff in. So I take all my diapers, and put them in a backpack, and hide them out in our barn (Not farm barn, horse barn, lacking horses currently.) in a small long box.

She comes home, and says that she knows that there were others and that I needed to get them, I said OK, and she started following me, she asked me are they out in the barn, I said yes, she said OK. I left to get them, and came back with 2 in a box. Anyway, she proceeds to tell me that it is wrong, and I need to stop and do something else, like weightlifting or other stuff. She said "Well, If its so OK then why don't we tell everyone about it, why don't we tell your friends and peers, why don't you put it in a newsletter." I said "Just because it's OK, doesn't mean everyone should know!" (Do I want to know if your favorite way to get off is to suck yourself? NO!)

She Restated that, and asked me if her and my dad being separate was causing me stress, I said no, and just went along with what she would ask so she would shut the hell up. She asked me where the ones with designs were, (Gnites) I told her that that was the last of them. (I do not know how the **** she found them, I guess she digs through the trash. Looking for used meth or something.) I told her that I had bought them from Meijers, (Stole them from friends brother). She bought it, I'm not EVER telling her how I got them, imagine if she made me apologize. It is very likely, that I would have killed her literally, if she had done that, I have the Capability, and the Guns.

So I spent the next 2 1/2 hours digging out some snow in front of our storage barn, being pissed off and staying away from her. We went into the Counselor, and in Summary, I think what he said was that if she didn't force me to do what she wanted me to do that I would not do this anymore, I told him that he was wrong, but he did not listen to that. He said later during the session, that my problem was not this, but that I am not upfront enough with her, as my dad is. That is part of it, but I do not think he fully understood at all, I will write him something, but I doubt it will sway him either. I left with mixed feelings, I was pissed still, because what I had wanted had not happened, but I think that what he was talking about was the bigger issue, not just this, he said that 95% of women that I would date would reject me for this, that remains to be seen.

After leaving, my dad said I needed to get a hobby, an outside hobby, I don't know why, but I suspect my Counselor told him of what happened, because while he was telling him what he told me he was going to tell him, he was still back there for like 5 minutes, so am pretty sure he was telling my dad. Outside sucks, at least the stuff we always have to do does. Some stuff is fun, most of the crap I have to do is not.

So here I sit, feeling like I need to kill someone, because of my stupidity, I still have 10 left, hidden in the back pack in the cold barn, unsure of what to do with them. I hate my mom for this, and I will never really forgive her, but It does not matter, she says she will never accept it, and I guess I have to accept that she probably won't. So as I sit in an Aura of my own Retardedness, I wish that I had never just made the stupid mistake of getting the second one in the first place, its all my fault, if I had not done that, I would be happy right now, and not pissed.

05-04-2008	#1 (permalink)
Mr Alex Regular Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Michigan Age: 16 Posts: 2,146 Threads: 57 Gallery Uploads: 2 Wiki Edits: 11	My second failure Instructions: Refrain from insulting my intelligence please. I already feel stupid enough. All of this is true. Pre-Story: My signature! Anyway, so I had already planned this out, this is how I'd ordered before, buying along with Jinx, or computer parts. I knew I needed to get some, and I knew it was the perfect time, Spring break, I needed them, and I would go to great lengths. I ordered some ATN's hit the 2-3 day shipping (USPS priority mail) and I'll skip the days in between. I ordered Tuesday, arrived Thursday. Amazing, Northshore shipped from IN I'm in MI. Anyway so they came Thursday morning, and I hid them around the corner from the garage next to my basement back door. (One Half of our basement is above ground.) She was leaving, so I grabbed them and ripped them all out of there, and hid them all. So I got one out, and guess what I did with it, put it in the oven, oooh yeah. If you believed that please poke yourself with a thumb tack. Anyway, so after that the day went by normally, I got home around 8 maybe. I picked up another out of my hiding spot, one of them that is, because I was planning on doing something, but I heard her coming down the stairs so I just dropped it on the floor, she asked what I was doing in there and I said I was just getting something, she didn't really believe me, and I knew I was **ed at that time. Anyway so she found them, I said I had just stolen them from my old as dirt grandma, she bought that. She talked to me about why was I doing this, she asked me if I was feeling stressed, and I said no, she said then why are you doing this, I said I don't know. She said that I shouldn't do this, and said I needed to have some sort of other way of getting rid of stress. She said that if I keep doing this, I will regret it later in life. She asked if I wanted to stop, and I said yes, trust me, arguing with her is pointless, I could probably torture her, and she would NOT move on this. I asked her if I could just talk to my Counselor before she did anything. Then she went back and found the rest of the bag, she asked where the other one was, I was wearing it, so she asked that, and I told her. (She asked if I was.) Anyway, she was all bitchy, as she is sometimes, and instead of trying to deal with her I just said, can I talk to (Blank) now PLEASE. She said, OK and left. At this point, I'm pretty pissed, but showing her that wouldn't benefit anyone, I was pissed at her, because she said that doing this is just like me drinking, smoking, or doing drugs. It would be easier for me to drink than it would be to get diapers. There is a fridge next to me filled with bud light, and a bar about 20 feet away. She says she can't trust me because of this, but its her fault for not trusting me, I don't do anything illegal. Anyway, I just ran outside and took it off and threw it in the trash, she came down and said some stuff that I cannot remember, and then left. The next day, I wake up and note that their is a note in the bathroom that says Appointment at 4:30 So I thought, good, maybe I can fix her. I noticed that the box I had gotten them in was moved, I should have killed it, but I didn't I wanted a box to keep stuff in. So I take all my diapers, and put them in a backpack, and hide them out in our barn (Not farm barn, horse barn, lacking horses currently.) in a small long box. She comes home, and says that she knows that there were others and that I needed to get them, I said OK, and she started following me, she asked me are they out in the barn, I said yes, she said OK. I left to get them, and came back with 2 in a box. Anyway, she proceeds to tell me that it is wrong, and I need to stop and do something else, like weightlifting or other stuff. She said "Well, If its so OK then why don't we tell everyone about it, why don't we tell your friends and peers, why don't you put it in a newsletter." I said "Just because it's OK, doesn't mean everyone should know!" (Do I want to know if your favorite way to get off is to suck yourself? NO!) She Restated that, and asked me if her and my dad being separate was causing me stress, I said no, and just went along with what she would ask so she would shut the hell up. She asked me where the ones with designs were, (Gnites) I told her that that was the last of them. (I do not know how the ** she found them, I guess she digs through the trash. Looking for used meth or something.) I told her that I had bought them from Meijers, (Stole them from friends brother). She bought it, I'm not EVER telling her how I got them, imagine if she made me apologize. It is very likely, that I would have killed her literally, if she had done that, I have the Capability, and the Guns. So I spent the next 2 1/2 hours digging out some snow in front of our storage barn, being pissed off and staying away from her. We went into the Counselor, and in Summary, I think what he said was that if she didn't force me to do what she wanted me to do that I would not do this anymore, I told him that he was wrong, but he did not listen to that. He said later during the session, that my problem was not this, but that I am not upfront enough with her, as my dad is. That is part of it, but I do not think he fully understood at all, I will write him something, but I doubt it will sway him either. I left with mixed feelings, I was pissed still, because what I had wanted had not happened, but I think that what he was talking about was the bigger issue, not just this, he said that 95% of women that I would date would reject me for this, that remains to be seen. After leaving, my dad said I needed to get a hobby, an outside hobby, I don't know why, but I suspect my Counselor told him of what happened, because while he was telling him what he told me he was going to tell him, he was still back there for like 5 minutes, so am pretty sure he was telling my dad. Outside sucks, at least the stuff we always have to do does. Some stuff is fun, most of the crap I have to do is not. So here I sit, feeling like I need to kill someone, because of my stupidity, I still have 10 left, hidden in the back pack in the cold barn, unsure of what to do with them. I hate my mom for this, and I will never really forgive her, but It does not matter, she says she will never accept it, and I guess I have to accept that she probably won't. So as I sit in an Aura of my own Retardedness, I wish that I had never just made the stupid mistake of getting the second one in the first place, its all my fault, if I had not done that, I would be happy right now, and not pissed.