[Baby Jake]

“Chapter Seven (Part II), the Night of Submission (Submission)”


It was a really beautiful night, that night. The moon was bright, and the sky was clear. It was, more or less, the perfect night for the night that I and Brian had laid down for us. Right now, however, we were spending our time gunning it out of the local neighborhood. We were headed to where Brian said no one would know us. I was of course, even more nervous at the time. He and I were sneaking through the shadows, making sure there were no local people, and police especially.

We were gunning it, taking obscure shortcuts and sneaking through pitch-black alleys. I, of course, had no idea in hell where we were going. But Brian of course, knew where he was going like we were still in his room. It was after about ten minutes of sneaking, that we slowly came to a stop.

We were both trying to catch our breath at the end of an alley… but it was there he and I just kind of both, at the same time, dropped against a wall of a building, and slowly slid down them, and dropped until we were both in the sitting position. We were both tired from running. I was curious though…

“Where the hell are we?” I asked.

“We’re in a different part of the neighborhood. We aren’t here much, no one knows us here…” he said.

“…okay…” I said.

“So what have you got planned?” I asked nervously, waiting to kind of brace myself for the task ahead.

“Nothing specific…” he said.

“Hmmm…” he began to think.

“First, put this on” Brian said, with a smile.

He had a diaper in his hand already… I must have not been paying attention. I sighed a bit, but took the diaper in hand. I wasn’t going to disappoint a friend…

“Wait” I said.

“What?” he asked.

“…um… where?” I asked.

“Uhhh… we’re in an alleyway, at like 2AM… no one’s around, and its dark. Just pull your pants down and put it on, I’ll turn around…” Brian said.

“W-what!?” I asked.

“Yeah!” Brian said.

“No!” I said in utter shock.

“Ha-ha, why?” Brian said laughing.

“What if someone comes by or something?” I said.

“No one will man, trust me.” He assured.

I was still a bit skeptical.

“C’mon man… just do it quickly then” he said, kind of pleading.

“…fine…” I said.

I began to think maybe I was being a bit too giving to Brian… but I walked over, further into the alley. This wasn’t like the alley that Brian, Daniel, and Seth, and I were in a week ago. This was one of those narrow alleys stuck between two buildings, like the one I parked my bike at when I was getting trash bags. I walked into the dead center of the alley, which was a bit of a distance from Brian. It was also the darkest part, but I looked behind me anyways… just to make sure Brian wasn’t looking. And like he said… he turned around.

I was alone, considering the distance from Brian and I. I was alone to sigh for a minute, on the outside. It was a desperate sigh, one of grief. I looked at the diaper, and thought about how little I wanted to do it. But then I thought about how I had promised Brian that I would… well… agreed that I would. I sucked it up once more… but this was a big favor.

I glared at the diaper for a little while… and eventually pulled my pants down to my knees, and my boxers too. I laid myself down on that hard cement, ignoring it, and untapped the diaper. I slipped it under my butt, and pulled the front over my penis, and taped it securely. It was that quickly that I had a diaper on, once more, when I swore to myself I wouldn’t do it again.

I glared down the alley, and looked at Brian. He was still turned around… which was good. I wasn’t ready to go up there yet. I needed some alone time real quick… to kind of realize what I was doing here. I began to question what I had just done.

I put on a diaper when it was the biggest fear of mine only yesterday. But why? I began to wonder… Why did I do it? Was it really for just friendship reasons? Did I only put this diaper on for Brian? Or was it because… I wanted this diaper on. I was questioning this now, because I finally could… and I had it on now… and once again… I was beginning to enjoy it. My mind was being to become satisfied with the soft feel, the crinkling, the tapes, everything… once again… and once again… my penis was beginning to become a bit erect. Once again, the thought of it all… seemed right.

I kind of sat there in that dark alley, with my pants still down… contemplating why the hell I didn’t just act as thought I had fallen back asleep in that room. Then all of this wouldn’t be happening and I wouldn’t be sitting in a dark alley, alone, with a diaper and liking it.

This state of mind was a weird one… I hated to love. And yes, love was a strong enough word to place what I was feeling for diapers right now. To further elaborate, right now, all of that pain I was feeling. All of that guilt and shame seemed like a waste of time now. I felt as though I was stupid for ever feeling like that for something like this diaper. I mean… it was so soft… and it was so secure. I felt like… I was safe… from something I couldn’t quite identify. But before I could give it further thought…

“Aden!” I heard Brian softly yelling… a kind of loud whisper.

“What!?” I said back, in the same kind of loud whisper.

“Everything alright? It’s taking you forever!” he said.

“Yeah, hold up… I’ll be there in a minute” I ‘loud whispered’ back.

“Okay…” he said back, turning back around.

Then it came back to me, right there. Why I did this… why I am doing this for someone. I sacrificed myself for a friend… someone who I do want as a friend. I mean, he wanted to do these so badly… and I felt selfish. I stood up, and walked over to Brian.

“Ready” I said.

I was feeling ready now. I was feeling ready for anything now, because I had my diaper on. I felt as though I could do any dare in the world that Brian had set for me. And I felt ready to give Brian any dares he felt he was ready for. But before I noticed anything… it became weird… because in time, the dares weren’t about doing a dare for me. It was about wearing the diaper.

---

I don’t know how dares we did, but it was about two hours that we were doing them. But in time, we did so many that nothing seemed difficult or daring. He looked at his watch, and it read 4AM.

We had been out, for two hours. Just he and I, running around in diapers through the night… I was having the time of my life, surprisingly. For Brian, it was for the dares. But for me, it was about wearing the diaper. It was incredible… the transition from me now, to when I was in that alley, hating to have to put on a diaper. I thought about how I was going to hate myself in the next few days, but I quickly shut myself up by thinking about how right now was what mattered.

But in time, he and I grew tired… and we began to kind of walk back towards his neighborhood.

“Hey Aden” he said to me.

“Yeah?” I asked.

“I want to show you a place… a secret place Seth, and Daniel, and I go to a lot.” Brian explained.

“Okay…” I said, feeling good about being shown a secret spot.

“Follow me” Brian said.

“Lead the way” I said.

We sprinted through main streets, which personally, I couldn’t do anymore. But we ran all the way through an entire neighborhood, but eventually stopped, at the foot of a big section of woods.

“You daring enough to simply go in there with me?” Brian asked.

“Um… lead the way” I said.

Brian and I descended a small hill from there, which was actually pretty difficult in near-pitch black. It was only a few minutes of going through the woods from there, just going through various trails and what-not, lead by the faint light of street lights from up top, and the moon lit it up enough to see in front of you.

But eventually, we were standing in front of a club house… I couldn’t really make it out. But I could see one side, and the rest was a silhouette. We then went inside, through an obscure door. Obscure, from the darkness.

“This is our secret spot” Brian said, in his normal voice.

“This is cool!” I said.

“Hold up” I heard Brian say.

All of the sudden, there was a click, and then, the room was illuminated. Brian was holding a flashlight.

“Flashlight, always behind the seat” Brian explained.

“Good thinking” I said.

“Look behind you, there should be like, a candle and a pack of matches inside it” Brian said.

“Um… okay” I replied, not really knowing what he meant by inside the candle.

But when I finally got the candle, I knew what he meant immediately. It was one of those huge candles, in a glass case, and it had a lid on top. Think of it as a cube of glass, with a square lid on the top that slides off, filled with wax and had two wicks. The matches were kept inside.

“Yeah, that’s it. Take it here, put in the middle and light it. It should light the room up, so we don’t waste the batteries on this” Brian explained.

“How long are we going to be here?” I asked.

“Not too much long, I’m tired” he explained.

I took the candle, and placed it between us, and lit it with one of the matches. It’s actually really surprising how much light a flame can give off in the darkness like that.

“There… much better…” Brian said, turning the flashlight off.

And there we were. It was just me and him, in the club house at 4AM, nothing but a candle to show off our faces.

“You know Aden… you’re really shy” Brian said.

“Huh?” I asked… well… grunted or moaned.

“Yeah… you’re real shy.” He said.

“…so…?” I asked.

“Nothing, just saying...” he said.

“Um… okay” I said, not quite understanding his point.

“I mean its okay. Nothing to be shy about with us, you’ve really let that up tonight” Brian explained.

“How so?” I asked.

“Well, compared to last week, and your first day at school… you’ve really changed. You seem happy when you’re around me” Brian said.

“I guess I kind of am… I mean… you’re the only one I’ve spent time with out of you three” I explained.

“Yeah… I suppose you’ve got a point. Daniel and Seth are cool, though. You should call Seth up sometime, especially.” He explained.

“I will sometime, whenever I get to know them better” I said.

“Cool…” Brian said.

“So how long have you and Seth been friends?” I asked.

“Actually, not too long” Brian said, surprisingly.

“Hmm… how long? Why?” I asked.

“He just moved here, too. Like six months ago.” He explained.

“That’s cool…” I said.

“Yeah… we put him through the same kind of initiation as you” Brian explained.

“Yeah… I remember hearing about that” I said.

“Yup. He was nervous, too… but he did it pretty quickly” Brian said.

I nodded.

“So Aden…” Brian said.

“Yeah?” I asked.

“You like it here?” he asked me.

“Yeah, I like it… Kids seem real cool around here and stuff” I said.

“How is it compared to your other neighborhood?” he asked.

“I don’t know…” I said, feeling a bit uncomfortable. It’s been a long while since I thought about what I left behind.

“C’mon Aden… you haven’t ever talked about your old friends… your old place…” Brian said.

“I… I know. I just… I don’t know… I feel weird, you know? I feel weird whenever I think about all that. It’s been only like a month since I moved and it feels like a year ago.” I explained, feeling a bit nostalgic as I began to recall things from my old town.

“Well you know… you should always talk about things that are bothering you. It helps” Brian said.

“Well I mean, its not really bothering me to be away… it just kind of makes me feel like I am always waiting to wake up in that room, in that house, and talk to those same friends I’ve known for like eight years…” I said.

“Yeah… I can see that” Brian said, nodding understandingly.

“How many friends did you have back there?” he asked me.

I began to count…

“I don’t know… not a whole lot; I’m not the popular-kid type. But I had a few real good friends.” I explained.

“That’s cool… well… give them a call man. It’s almost summer… it’s only a week until the end of this semester” Brian explained.

“Yeah… yeah I’ll do that” I said, thinking it was actually a really good idea.

“Now you ask me a question” Brian said.

“Hmmm?” I mumbled.

“Ask me a question… I asked you one, I deserve one” Brian said.

“Okay… you like Seth a lot… what’s it like between you and your brother, Daniel?” I asked.

“Hmmm…” Brian said.

“It’s alright between us. He’s only like a year old than me, but he likes to do the big brother thing and stuff. He has his interests, I have mine. We talk a lot and we’re close, but to a point, you know?” Brian explained.

“Yeah, I gotcha” I said.

It was silent for a minute as we both kind of thought about individual subjects… but we quickly began to talk again. We were talking for a long while after that, just about random things: personal things, funny things, depressing things… all of that.

---

“You know Aden?” I heard.

I was no longer on the floor, sitting there in front of the candle. I was now lying down on one of the benches that were built into the house.

“What’s up?” I asked.

“I like you…” I heard.

“Yeah?” I said.

“Yeah. You’re a real cool person. I’m glad you moved here” Brian said.

I looked over at him, and he was smirking a bit. He was lying on the opposite bench, across from mine.

“Thanks man… I really appreciate that” I said, feeling a bit of a glow.

“Hey Brian” I said.

“Yeah Aden?” he replied.

“I like you, too. You’re a cool dude. Thanks for all you’ve done for me… you’re a good person” I said back.

“Thanks… I appreciate that also.” He said back.

“Hey Aden” I heard back.

“Yeah Brian?” I asked.

“We’re sleeping in here, aren’t we” Brian kind of half asked.

I started laughing…

“Yeah, apparently we are… but won’t the others be worried?” I asked.

“Nah… they know this place. We were actually talking about possibly sneaking here and spending the night in here, but they turned back…” Brian said.

“Oh… and speaking of… Aden… I uh… I want to tell you something, about what you did in that room” he said.

“What?” I asked.

He looked at me, and with extreme sincerity… he said.

“Thanks man… thanks for humoring me. I really appreciated that…” he said.

“What!?” I asked, becoming more awake.

“I know you didn’t want to do these dares and stuff… and I just want to say thanks for doing them anyway. You’re a pal” he said.

“Geez… was it that obvious?” I thought… but instead, I said…

“Nah man… I’m glad I did do these things. Me and you are here and talking because of it” I said.

Brian smiled and nodded.

“Well… I guess if we’re going to sleep here… I should take this diaper off” I said.

I have been wearing the diaper the whole time, the whole night, and not caring one bit.

I stood up, and so did Brian.

“Might as well just blow the candle out, it’ll be dark enough we won’t see each other” Brian said.

“Good point…” I said.

I looked down at the candle… kneeled down, and blew the flame dead… and like he said, it was once again pitch black. Even in the dark, I was a bit sheepish about having my privates exposed in such a close proximity to someone like Brian… but really, you couldn’t see your hand in front of your face… so I shook it off. I walked to my side of the house, pulled down my pants and boxers, and untapped the diaper, and tossed it onto the floor blindly. I pulled my pants up, zippered and buttoned them, and blindly explored my way back to my bench.

I could hear Brian taking his diaper off, I heard the same tape-removing sound, and some crinkling, and then eventually, the sound of it hitting the floor, and finally the sound of a zipper and the click of a button.

It was silent for a bit, as we both had nothing but our minds to keep us company, since we both were real, real tired now. All the running and stuff… just knocked us out. I don’t know what Brian was thinking… but I know what I was thinking.

I was thinking about what had happened tonight. I went from being so damn fearful about doing dares, to putting that behind me and putting a friend first… Then I went from going through with that agreement by putting the diaper on in a dark alley, to running through the streets of my new town in one. I went from not knowing Brian, to knowing him as though he and I knew each other for years. A real good friendship was conceived tonight, at least I think so. I didn’t feel like I was sleeping in the club house with a stranger… I felt like I was sleeping in the club house, with a good friend.

Good enough to at least run through the neighborhood with diapers on, at least. Then I began to think about that… the whole diaper situation. What was with me, I wondered. I’m sure you know what I was thinking… so I won’t repeat myself again. The strange feelings, the hate to love thing… it all kind of keeps getting stronger.

But something happened tonight. Something surprising… it was… a really good thing. It happened back in that alley, and grew since then. A form of self acceptance kind of swept through me since then. Since that moment on, having a diaper on didn’t seem bad anymore. And the thought of liking them… well… that still seemed strange but, right. I began to wonder why this self-acceptance has come over me, and it occurred to me… it was probably because I was wearing the diaper. My mind was doing its tricks again.

But in that darkness, when I had time to really put things into perspective… I was really happy. I felt great, honestly. I had a friend, and a good one… and I wanted to enjoy it. And when you’re in a good mood, you don’t want anything to stop the good times from rolling, right? Well… I guess that had an influence in what I did next. I was thinking about my little diaper thing… And either I was delirious from lack of sleep, or I really was that happy… but either way, in that darkness… I came to an agreement with myself.

The whole night, I was wearing a diaper. And the whole night, I was happy. When I wasn’t wearing a diaper… I wasn’t happy. If wearing a diaper makes me happy… I think I should be able to splurge. I began to debate in my mind if this was correct. I was thinking… I am not hurting anyone directly… even though I still had a bit of guilt. I was kind of ignoring that for now. I was feeling real good. I guess you could say I came to a bit of a submission to the influences that diapers give me. And in that darkness, with a smile I could only feel on my face, I could easily say to myself, that I like diapers… and nothing was wrong with that.

“Brian… you still awake?” I asked.

“Yeah… whats up?” I heard.

“I have a question for you” I asked. I needed his opinion on something, before I went to… well… before I went to bench… since it wasn’t a bed.

“Hurry up man… real tired…” I heard, yawning in between.

“If something makes someone really happy… or they receive a kind of comfort from something… and the thing isn’t bad at all… its not harmful to anyone, its not anything like that, not drugs, etc…” I said.

“…” I more or less detected from Brian.

“…Well, my question is, if that’s the case… but they feel a bit guilty for receiving comfort or something from the thing… do you think they should get some kind of help, or do you think they should further splurge into their interests?” I asked.

“…um… well… I mean, I can’t really answer… you’re too obscure with your details. It all depends on the thing. I mean, if it’s not harmful, or anything bad, I don’t see the harm in splurging. But depending on how much guilt you have… and how it affects you in completing your day-to-day activities… you should get help. If it stops you from doing important things, get help, you know? But if it doesn’t do any harmful things in anyway and you can still work and live fine, I’d say splurge.

Either way… I don’t know what the object you’re talking about is. I say who the hell cares and do what you want, you know?” Brian said.

“So you think it’d be okay to splurge?” I asked.

“Sure… I guess you could say that… if they receive a lot of comfort or happiness than yeah, splurge… if the guilt isn’t that bad, you’ll get over it soon. Everything has its limits before it’s rid of. You’ll get over it eventually” Brian explained.

There was a bit of silence…

“Thanks Brian…” I said....

“Yeah, no problem… but anyways… I’m tired. And so, I’m going to bed. Good night” I heard.

“Good night…” I said…