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well if you want to see realistic critique then keep scrolling down else just skip over my post, i don't want to make you upset since i realize this is a thing done for the fun of it.
Critique....
Well what i thought about this story is that it should've used a LOT more details. Then there's a the whole transitions, i would've just left you alone since it could be counted as loose tale-telling, but when i saw "chapter X" i realized it wasn't just a diary thing.
First Dream: You're dreaming about yourself- and then suddenly somehow you're picked up by a female? Like in a craddling manner????? I realize you indicated a smaller girl earlier. But that was about someone appearing in your dreams not depicted as you.
Second dream: This was by far, THE MOST confusing of them both, it shows you with pullups and then if you are indeed that small girl then why would you be driving? And then to go the other way, if you aren't then how did the girl pick you up earlier?
End of Critique....
That's it
~blarg
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