Kat, I don't come from the best position to give advice to you as I have always been incontinent, but what I can tell you is to always be honest. You don't even have to get into the AB side of things (I hardly ever do when telling someone)...just be honest that you wear for medical reasons and leave the rest up to the person you're telling. If they ask questions, be open and willing to answer them.
This works particularly well on those that might want to ridicule/tease you, and I've used it on many a kid many times. They are shocked by how open and honest you are, and there isn't anything to tease about anymore.
Holiday and family gathering situations are never easy, believe me, I know. ("he STILL isn't potty trained?" was always a popular question when I was younger). Once I was old enough to talk about it myself, though, it wasn't even an issue and it hasn't been since then. For you, coming from being able to control things to now being IC, you need to get it out there, everything about it. Be open and honest...it'll be hard this first time but it'll make every time after that much easier and even enjoyable, as you won't have the huge weight, hiding, secrecy, etc. Best of luck to you, and feel free to chat me if you want to talk about it more!!
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