[Abby_Cullen]

I sat there, my legs crossed beneath my bottom, wondering if I should do it. It's been years, twelve of them to be exact. For twelve years I have been chasing a dream that is not likely, almost impossible, to be fufilled. Twelve years of wondering if I will ever get the girl of my dreams, my soulmate, my lover, my mommy.

I knew it would never happen, who would ever fall in love with a loser like me? A man with hairy legs, an overweight body, and a life full of basement-dwelling. My mother always told me I would find the right girl one day, she still tells me that. I don't think it is true, I have been living in her basement, spending my time in online chatrooms, pretending to be girls like Jessica, Alicia and Lexie.

I feel the only way to get close to the girl of my dreams is to pretend to be her, the petite girl, the popular one, the one who likes to be a mommy, the one who is into guys like me.

I lowered my standards, to girls like Sabrina, Amanda and Janelle. I am no longer looking for the girl that doesn't exist, yet the one that does. The overweight one, the one with few close friends, the one who likes to be a mommy, the one who is into guys like me. I feel I can now get close to the girl of my new dream, the achievable dream, yet unreachable.

Is there any other way? I like girls, I cannot like guys, I tried too many times, yet have failed. I do not need a daddy, or a playmate, I need a mommy, and a wife, a lover, soulmate, the girl of my dreams.

I sit at my computer, my legs crossed beneath my bottom.

"My name is Bill."

Four simple words, words that anwser questions that have been left unanwsered. Four words that solve mysteries, four words that tell the world who I really am.