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Abby_Cullen · 13-02-2008

Chapter 4

20 Minutes later we arrived at my house. I was anxious, yet nervous to go into there, it was my house but why did I feel like I had no right to be there?

“Do you want me to come and help you?”

“It doesn’t matter” The words slipped out of my mouth before I could really think about what I was saying. Did I really want Angela going through my stuff, my personal stuff with me? I went to the kitchen and grabbed 6 garbage bags and went up to my room. Boy was I going to miss it; my purple and pink walls, my closet with my secret hide-away place and all of my furniture.

“Just pack what you need sweet heart, we will go shopping in a few days to redo the guest bedroom in our house.”

I started going through my night stand and my shelf unit, grabbing cosmetics, purses, journals and craft sets that I had bought over the years while Angela went through my closet and drawers and put all my clothes into garbage bags. In less than an hour I had everything packed that I needed to bring with me. I had 2 garbage bags of clothes, one of dirty clothes and shoes and 2 bags of everything else.

“Okay do you have everything that you need?” Angela asked me

“Yeah; do you want me to go make a pot of coffee for you, I'm going to go grab myself a glass of orange juice.”

“Okay, only make 2 or 3 cups worth though, that will be fine, while you do that I'm going to go put these garbage bags into the car.”

I carried down two garbage bags and put them into the front door. Then I went into the kitchen, made the coffee and poured myself some juice. I waited while the coffee finished and Angela poured herself a cup and we went back upstairs.

“I know this is going to be hard, but is there anything that you want of your fathers?”

“Yeah” I said while choking back tears.

I walked into his room and started to cry, it smelled like him, it looked like him, it reminded me of him, and I didn’t like that. In this room was everything my father was into, everything he was and wanted to be, everything that I wanted to be.
I sat on his bed and Angela sat beside me and tried to comfort me. I didn’t really want her too but having her hug me close made me feel a little better. I had to go pee, but I decided I was going to go in the goodnight. I didn’t know what it felt like but sitting there I couldn’t just go, I tried but it wasn’t coming out. Once I was calmed down I got up and went to my dad’s closet. He had a cedar chest in there so I pulled it out and once I had it open instead of sitting I crouched down. While crouching I tried to pee again and it started to come out; once I was done I then sat and it felt mushy. I kind of liked the feeling; it was warm, like a mushy pillow permanently on my bum. I went through the chest; it had all of my dad’s personal belongings; I started to get emotional again so I stopped and closed the lid.

“Um, this is all of my dads personal stuff, I want to keep all of it, can I just keep the entire chest?”

“Of course, we can put it into your room, would you like to get anything else?”

I thought, the chest had stuff from my communion, picture albums, scrap books, his diaries, places he worked, souvenirs from places we traveled, and I had everything I wanted except for one thing. I went to his dresser and opened his drawer. I grabbed his big t-shirt that I made for him when I was 8. It had my hand prints on it and said “I love you daddy” on the back. I put it on top of his jewelry box that sat on his night stand and put them both in the trunk.

“I'm ready now”

“Okay let’s go”

“Wait a sec, one more thing”

“What is it?” Angela asked with curiosity

“I had an accident” Which was kind of a lie, since I did it on purpose, but I didn’t want to say that.

“You can tell”

“How?” I asked, feeling quite embarrassed

“Your saggy in the front. Go to the car and get a new one, the powder and the wipes and go to the bathroom and change, I will bring the chest to the car.”

“Okay”

I went to the car and got the stuff I was supposed to. I went to the bathroom and pulled down my shorts. I felt the goodnight; it was mushy and did swell up a bit. I mushed it and finally pulled it down; it made a plop sound when it fell on the tile. I wiped and powdered, put the new one on and pulled my shorts up. I threw the old one in the trash and headed downstairs. I got a granola bar out of the cupboard and locked the door on my way out.

“All Ready?”

“Yeah, are we going to your house now?”

“We have to stop one more place, and then we can”

The car pulled out of the driveway and I wondered; where were we going?

13-02-2008	#4 (permalink)
Abby_Cullen Will you be my lion? Historical Donor Staff Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Forks, Washington. Age: 18 Posts: 2,335 Threads: 93 Gallery Uploads: 37 Blog Entries: 11	Chapter 4 20 Minutes later we arrived at my house. I was anxious, yet nervous to go into there, it was my house but why did I feel like I had no right to be there? “Do you want me to come and help you?” “It doesn’t matter” The words slipped out of my mouth before I could really think about what I was saying. Did I really want Angela going through my stuff, my personal stuff with me? I went to the kitchen and grabbed 6 garbage bags and went up to my room. Boy was I going to miss it; my purple and pink walls, my closet with my secret hide-away place and all of my furniture. “Just pack what you need sweet heart, we will go shopping in a few days to redo the guest bedroom in our house.” I started going through my night stand and my shelf unit, grabbing cosmetics, purses, journals and craft sets that I had bought over the years while Angela went through my closet and drawers and put all my clothes into garbage bags. In less than an hour I had everything packed that I needed to bring with me. I had 2 garbage bags of clothes, one of dirty clothes and shoes and 2 bags of everything else. “Okay do you have everything that you need?” Angela asked me “Yeah; do you want me to go make a pot of coffee for you, I'm going to go grab myself a glass of orange juice.” “Okay, only make 2 or 3 cups worth though, that will be fine, while you do that I'm going to go put these garbage bags into the car.” I carried down two garbage bags and put them into the front door. Then I went into the kitchen, made the coffee and poured myself some juice. I waited while the coffee finished and Angela poured herself a cup and we went back upstairs. “I know this is going to be hard, but is there anything that you want of your fathers?” “Yeah” I said while choking back tears. I walked into his room and started to cry, it smelled like him, it looked like him, it reminded me of him, and I didn’t like that. In this room was everything my father was into, everything he was and wanted to be, everything that I wanted to be. I sat on his bed and Angela sat beside me and tried to comfort me. I didn’t really want her too but having her hug me close made me feel a little better. I had to go pee, but I decided I was going to go in the goodnight. I didn’t know what it felt like but sitting there I couldn’t just go, I tried but it wasn’t coming out. Once I was calmed down I got up and went to my dad’s closet. He had a cedar chest in there so I pulled it out and once I had it open instead of sitting I crouched down. While crouching I tried to pee again and it started to come out; once I was done I then sat and it felt mushy. I kind of liked the feeling; it was warm, like a mushy pillow permanently on my bum. I went through the chest; it had all of my dad’s personal belongings; I started to get emotional again so I stopped and closed the lid. “Um, this is all of my dads personal stuff, I want to keep all of it, can I just keep the entire chest?” “Of course, we can put it into your room, would you like to get anything else?” I thought, the chest had stuff from my communion, picture albums, scrap books, his diaries, places he worked, souvenirs from places we traveled, and I had everything I wanted except for one thing. I went to his dresser and opened his drawer. I grabbed his big t-shirt that I made for him when I was 8. It had my hand prints on it and said “I love you daddy” on the back. I put it on top of his jewelry box that sat on his night stand and put them both in the trunk. “I'm ready now” “Okay let’s go” “Wait a sec, one more thing” “What is it?” Angela asked with curiosity “I had an accident” Which was kind of a lie, since I did it on purpose, but I didn’t want to say that. “You can tell” “How?” I asked, feeling quite embarrassed “Your saggy in the front. Go to the car and get a new one, the powder and the wipes and go to the bathroom and change, I will bring the chest to the car.” “Okay” I went to the car and got the stuff I was supposed to. I went to the bathroom and pulled down my shorts. I felt the goodnight; it was mushy and did swell up a bit. I mushed it and finally pulled it down; it made a plop sound when it fell on the tile. I wiped and powdered, put the new one on and pulled my shorts up. I threw the old one in the trash and headed downstairs. I got a granola bar out of the cupboard and locked the door on my way out. “All Ready?” “Yeah, are we going to your house now?” “We have to stop one more place, and then we can” The car pulled out of the driveway and I wondered; where were we going?